The Honeybee's Lifestyle

Tag: Memories

  • Triggered

    Triggered

    Hello Honeybees,
    I think that I’ve been handling the stress of Covid-19 pretty well. Sure,like everyone else I’m ready to get back to some sense of normalcy. I haven’t had any crying spells or depression. Just taking it one day at a time and that seems to be working pretty well for me & my sons.

     

    But last week I was triggered. It started with a post I saw honoring our front line health care workers. I replied to the post & told @accordingtoQ how hard I had been praying for her. Q is a Nurse Practitioner and had possibly been exposed, so she quarantined herself FROM HER CHILDREN for their protection. She tested negative. Then later I learned that another blogger friends father was thankfully on the mend from Covid-19. She and I also share the loss of a mother. Y’all I was triggered. Emotions that I haven’t had in years started to resurface. Here’s why.

     

    The last time that I saw my dad was from a hospital window. This was 1977 and at the time I was to young to visit him in the hospital. I was 10 yrs old and the hospital unit that he was on was very strict about visitors (sound familiar). I vividly remember him waving at me from the hospital window. I couldn’t see his face up close but I could see his hand waving at me. That’s my last memory of him.
    I think about all of the parents and children, grown or otherwise, that can’t see their loved ones in the hospital. They can’t go visit or comfort them or advocate for them. I know that feeling as a 10 year old daddy’s girl and it still hurts. No visitation is not only for Covid-19 patients but anyone in the hospital for anything. My friend had her baby two weeks ago and was only allowed one support person. My bff had her first grandchild but she couldn’t be there to witness his birth. Again, this hurts.

     

    I’m blessed that my village rallied around this 10 year old so that 40 plus years later even though I’m triggered I can still thrive. I know how to handle those feelings. Sharing them with you right now is one of the ways that I am managing. Having my cousin and friends checking on me keeps me in contact with those that care. Spending time with my sons reminds me how blessed I am to have them. I’m gonna be alright.
    I’m praying for anyone that can’t support their loved ones at this time. I’m praying for those that are sick themselves. I’m praying for our collective health and strength. I’m praying for our country and our planet. Together we will get to the other side of this. Stay safe!
    Beewisdom- Your life was a blessing, your memory a treasure. Renee Wood

     

  • Chapters

    Hello Honeybees,

    This month I have the privilege of completing chapter 1 of BloggingWithBee and starting Chapter 2

    This month I will finish chapter 48 of my life and start chapter 49

    This month I will start chapter 4 of my nonprofit career

    Next month I will start writing chapter 17 of parenthood

    This year I started writing chapter 9 of being single again

    So many chapters in just one book but this is the book that I only get to co-author. God is the author of  the book of my life.  He writes the stories and uses me to bring them to life.  So maybe I’m not the co-author but I am the main character.

    book pic 1

    I learned somewhere around chapter 39 or 40 to stop comparing my book to someone else’s book.  We ALL have our own book.  My book is being written JUST FOR ME. Sometimes I slip up and start comparing, I’m human and not perfect, but I have learned to adjust my thoughts and keep turning the pages of my OWN book.

    My chapter 49 will not look like your chapter 49.

    My chapter 21 didn’t look like your chapter 21.

    book pic 3

    I am so in love with the book that is being written about my life.  It has all kinds of plot twist and surprises. I mean A LOT of surprises. This book can be a comedy, a drama or action packed.  Either way I can’t put it down.  This book has my attention every day, all day. 

    Even though I am the star of this book, I have no idea what comes next.  I have made suggestions to the author but I know that His plans are so much better than mine.

    I hope that my book has at least 99 chapters.  99 chapters that will keep me turning pages unable to put the book down.   

    Watch out chapter 49 I can’t wait to read you!

    BelindaBee pic

    What is your favorite chapter?

    Beewisdom-In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back- Charlie Brown

  • A Letter To My Father

    Dear Daddy,

    In a few days we will celebrate Father’s Day. Not only is June the month that we celebrate Father’s Day it’s also your birthday month.   I am so proud to be your daughter.  Although we only had ten years together, those were some of my best childhood memories. They helped to shape the woman that I am.

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    I remember every Friday you would pick me up from school and we would go to the record store.  You would let me pick out two 45’s.  I couldn’t wait to get home to play them on the record player.  Every Saturday morning you would play the blues while working around the house.  Thanks for introducing me to B.B. King, Johnny Taylor, Bobby Blue Bland and The O’Jays.

    I remember you giving me my love of sports.  We would watch baseball, basketball, football and boxing. Our last Christmas together you gave me an autographed Dr. J basketball. I returned that gift to you by asking that they put the basketball in the casket with you.  Although the love for all sports didn’t stick, I’m not a fan of baseball & boxing but football and basketball held on tight. Thank you for introducing me to Kareem, Dr. J, Muhammad Ali, and Walter Payton.

    I remember you sharing your love for learning and the importance of an education.  Although you never attended college you made sure that I would.  We always discussed how I would one day go to college. At age 7 you made me promise that I would go to college and in return you would buy me a car.  Unfortunately you weren’t able to be here to see your baby graduate from college not once but twice. Thank you for introducing me to the power of education.

    I remember how you treated my mother.  I saw the power of love.  I saw how a man should treat his wife. I saw the sly smiles & glances.  The loving touches.  The snuggles on the couch when you thought I was sleep. I never had to contend with arguing & fighting.  I know there is no such thing as a perfect marriage and that couples fight but you never let me see that. Because of your example I learned not to settle for anything less. Thank you for showing me what a husband should be.   

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    I remember you helping other family members.  You made sure that others had birthday and Christmas presents just like I did.  I remember you & my mother taking off work at the last minute to go Christmas shopping.  I was not happy that I had to go to school that day but it proved to be so important. That would be your last Christmas with us. Thank you for being my Santa Claus.

    There are so many more memories that I keep in my heart. Although you are not here in person your spirit is still with me. Sometimes when I look at my oldest son, your namesake Robert, I clearly see you.  He has your heart and that makes my heart happy.

    Thank you for the examples.  I love you and I miss you. 

    Your daughter,

    BB Bee pic

    Beewisdom-  My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me  Jimmy Valvano (Jimmy V)