I think that I’ve been handling the stress of Covid-19 pretty well. Sure,like everyone else I’m ready to get back to some sense of normalcy. I haven’t had any crying spells or depression. Just taking it one day at a time and that seems to be working pretty well for me & my sons.
But last week I was triggered. It started with a post I saw honoring our front line health care workers. I replied to the post & told @accordingtoQ
how hard I had been praying for her. Q is a Nurse Practitioner and had possibly been exposed, so she quarantined herself FROM HER CHILDREN for their protection. She tested negative. Then later I learned that another blogger friends father was thankfully on the mend from Covid-19. She and I also share the loss of a mother. Y’all I was triggered. Emotions that I haven’t had in years started to resurface. Here’s why.
The last time that I saw my dad was from a hospital window. This was 1977 and at the time I was to young to visit him in the hospital. I was 10 yrs old and the hospital unit that he was on was very strict about visitors (sound familiar). I vividly remember him waving at me from the hospital window. I couldn’t see his face up close but I could see his hand waving at me. That’s my last memory of him.
I think about all of the parents and children, grown or otherwise, that can’t see their loved ones in the hospital. They can’t go visit or comfort them or advocate for them. I know that feeling as a 10 year old daddy’s girl and it still hurts. No visitation is not only for Covid-19 patients but anyone in the hospital for anything. My friend had her baby two weeks ago and was only allowed one support person. My bff had her first grandchild but she couldn’t be there to witness his birth. Again, this hurts.
I’m blessed that my village rallied around this 10 year old so that 40 plus years later even though I’m triggered I can still thrive. I know how to handle those feelings. Sharing them with you right now is one of the ways that I am managing. Having my cousin and friends checking on me keeps me in contact with those that care. Spending time with my sons reminds me how blessed I am to have them. I’m gonna be alright.
I’m praying for anyone that can’t support their loved ones at this time. I’m praying for those that are sick themselves. I’m praying for our collective health and strength. I’m praying for our country and our planet. Together we will get to the other side of this. Stay safe!
Beewisdom- Your life was a blessing, your memory a treasure. Renee Wood