Tag Archives: Empowerment

Advice To A Younger Honeybee

Hello Honeybees,

If you follow me on IG you know that I attended Karleen Roy’s inaugural Owning The Block event. I enjoyed seeing Memphis come together to support one of its own. The guest for the event was Myleik Teele. SN: Myleik has been on my vision board for a few years & I got to meet her & of course take a picture.

During the event Karleen asked Myleik what advice she would to her 20 year old self. It got me to thinking about what I would tell my 20 year old self. Before my 20’s were over I was a married college graduate working in corporate America.

If there were some words of wisdom that I would give to a younger Honeybee it would start with this:

Although you took the long route to graduation you did it. Don’t hold on to the fact that it took you longer, celebrate the joy that you finished. In taking that long route in college keep going and get that Masters degree. Don’t let 20 years go by.

Live on your own before you get married. You went from your mother to your husband. You needed the time on your own to mature just a little bit more. You needed the time to learn to stand on your own two feet.

Travel, go see the world! I mean the WORLD! Leave the USA and enjoy yourself.

Save, Save, Save and Save some more. Yes you were wise to get in your 401k in your 20’s but you need to save a little more on the side. You need to get in the habit of saving.

Embrace that “skinny” women that you are and don’t listen to the haters. You look good just the way you are. One day you’ll wish that you were still trying to gain weight. Get in the habit of exercising so that it becomes a way of life.

Finally, GO FOR IT!!! You wanted to work in corporate communications but when you had the opportunity to meet with the bank president one on one you didn’t capitalize on it because you didn’t know how. Find a mentor, they could’ve helped you navigate this better.

I’m thankful for the lessons that I learned in my 20’s because they helped to shape the future me and I actually did LEARN something.

One day I’ll share what I would tell my 30 year old self because those years were truly pivotal.

What advice would you give your 20 year old self? Leave me a comment below.

Beewisdom- Remember yourself as a little girl, she is counting on you to protect her.

 

Position Yourself

Hello Honeybees,

Recently I was listening to Soledad O’Brien speak on a podcast about her leaving CNN. She spoke about how they never really “fired” her but they offered her a different position that she felt was not a good fit for her. To her credit she was able to walk away from CNN because she had financially positioned herself to do so. While working at CNN she was frugal with her money so that she was able to make better decisions based on what she wanted to do vs. what she had to do.

We’ve all been there. And there is being somewhere because you feel like you have to. Being in a relationship because you feel like you have to. If I leave this relationship then I’ll be alone. If I leave this job then how will I survive? Because let’s face it, we all have bills to pay.

Positioning yourself means giving yourself options. It’s a very helpless feeling knowing that other people literally hold your destiny in their hands. Hopefully they will have your best interest at heart but then again they may not. It’s a crap shoot.

So how do you position yourself?

Financially- living below your means. Have a nest egg so that if you need to make a decision you are making it from a point of substance and not survival.

Skills- work on improving your skill set so that you have more to offer. If you only know how to do one thing, then one thing is all that you can do.

Find your side hustle- this goes along with your finances AND improving your skills. That side hustle can help you to save. That side hustle can be your additional skill. This combination can be life saving.

Network- get to know people outside of your circle, that includes having a mentor. People who know you & your worth. People who can and will advocate for you, even when you are NOT in the room.

I encourage you to position yourself so that when you are ready to move, you can…..just like that!

What part of your life needs a position change?

Beewisdom-“Proper positive positioning is the key to experiencing miracles.” Edmond Mbiaka

 

Photos by kaughtbykaete.com 

Blogger XPO 2019

Hello Honeybees,

August was a crazy busy month. It started with a focus on family and ended with a focus on me. I spent a weekend in Nashville at the 2nd annual Blogger Xchange XPO.

The Blogger Xchange was founded by Leigh Love & Kay Elle. Both are Nashville natives that grew up together. They saw a need to bring the growing Nashville blogger community together and thus their first event was created. Leigh is a music, travel & events blogger. Kay Elle is a beauty, fashion and lifestyle blogger. The two together make a very dynamic team.

Fortunately for our local blogger community, they do come to Memphis to host classes which have been very helpful. So when I got the chance to attend this years XPO I jumped at it. My blogger boo Mocha_Divas and I hit the highway headed east ready to learn and grow.

Thursday night was VIP night. Once there we checked in to our hotel and got ready for a walking photo tour with Photo Walk Tour the Gulch. So many Instagramable spaces. Christy & Abbey did an great job especially working with all of us bloggers. We finished the tour at Winky Lux by making flower crowns. We didn’t make the kick off party that night because after the drive up and the photo walk we were tired but I heard that the guys from Slim & Husky’s shared some great advice.

Saturday was the big day. After a healthy breakfast from Rush Bowls and Box Water we headed into hear Memphis’ own Paris Chanel give the keynote speech. My takeaway from Paris was to pursue your passion. Blogging is a passion project for me so this was confirmation that I was in the right place. The rest of the day was filled with very informative sessions. My notebook is full of gems and action plans.

One of the speakers in my first session “Writing with Soul” was Brittney Oliver. When Brittney started to share her story I thought to myself, this sounds so familiar. Turns out I heard Brittney on one of my favorite podcast Switch,Pivot or Quit. A few of my other sessions included Perfecting the Feed and The Business of Blogging. The Business of Blogging helped us to understand some of the legal aspects of blogging. You know all those FTC rules and regulations.

Sunday Brunch fed my soul. The food provided by Chef Batts was delicious and the adult beverages were plentiful. But our brunch speaker Kenya Raymer of @Halfietruth was REAL. She  talked about setting boundaries in these internet streets and if you follow Kenya then you know that she doesn’t play about this and I so admire that. She also talked about being authentic, something that she does so well. It’s always interesting to me to meet people that I follow in person. I’m not always sure how to approach them but Kenya put me at ease.

I have my blog to do list and I have already tackled the first item. Yea me!!!! I also won a $150 gift card to Macy’s. I feel a haute fall wardrobe in my future.

I can not express the impact from the Blogger XPO weekend. Not just for the blog but for my life. I am already looking forward to next years XPO but in the meantime I’ll be ready for the next blogger class in Memphis.

Thanks Leigh & Kay for an awesome weekend. See you next year.

 

Beewisdom- “Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.” – Malcolm X

 

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Seasons Change

Hello Honeybees,

I wrote this post seating on the couch in an Airbnb in New Orleans. I was in NOLA to take my youngest son to college. My smallest birdie is learning to fly, but that’s another post for another day once I get all of these emotions together.

One thing on this journey that I have come to embrace is that my season is about to change. I have spent the last 20 years of my life making sure that the two humans that I delivered into this world had everything that they needed. For most of their life it has been just me. But the time has come where they are no longer my day to day responsibility. No, I’m not just throwing in the towel on them, quite the opposite. It’s just that my level of involvement is shifting gears.

I no longer have to attend back to school activities, PTA meetings, school programs and parent teacher conferences. I no longer have to find child care for the breaks (this time has long since passed but stay with me here) or for those last minute snow days. I use to hold on to vacation and sick days just in case one of the boys got sick so I would have the time to take off.

Well those days are no more. My season has changed. My new season is all about moi. I can now move about life on my terms and let me tell you it feels wonderful already. Just the thought of it makes me do a happy dance. It makes me excited for what is to come.

Big changes are headed my way and I am ready.

So if you see me out in these streets just know that I am enjoying my new season.

 

Beewisdom- To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1

Digit

Hello Honeybees,

One influencer that moved me to action was Memphis blogger Andrea Fenise. Andrea started a series of post about her savings journey. It’s a VERY personal account of how she is saving. She shares the ups & the downs. This got me to thinking more about my saving habits & how I could make them better.

 

One way for me to save is if I never see the money and I can’t have easy access to it. I have $50 automatically go into an account that is managed by my Ameriprise financial adviser. It’s a slow and steady way for me to build. I don’t see it & in order for me to access it I have to call him. I know if I call him he’s going to ask me all kinds of questions like; Why do I need the money? Saying I want to buy a pair of shoes or a purse is not gonna cut it. It’s his job to help me not make dumb financial decisions. He keeps me accountable and I’m okay with that.

 

 

Another way that I’m saving is by using the Digit app. Y’all this has been a game changer for me. Digit takes money out of your linked account and puts it into a rainy day account. I also set up another account for an August trip. So it pulls money daily and puts into each account. Now I was scared to have money automatically come out of my account like this and daily at that! Whew chile the anxiety!! Remember that other $50, yeah I can’t have too many things on auto. But the beauty of this is that Digit “learns” your spending habits. It also lets you set a pause limit. So if your linked account falls below a certain amount Digit won’t transfer any money.

 

If your account gets to a threshold that you set, Digit will transfer money from your Rainy Day account back to your linked account. Another of my things about the app is that it lets you know you balance on your linked account and it tells you why. I get a text that says MLGW cleared today for $100 and your balance is now $1,010. You also have the flexibility to move money back into your account when needed.

 

 

I will say that having Digit is helping me to stay on my spending toes. Having a constant reminder of how & where I’m spending just what I needed.

 

If you want to try Digit use my link for the referral. They will give you $5 for signing up. https://digit.co/r/bJBn40_g9V?ad&twb=true

 

No this is not sponsored. Just like Andrea got me to thinking about my savings, I want you to do the same. Let’s all save, build and grow together.

 

 

Beewisdom- Don’t tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I’ll tell you what they are. –James W. Frick

Self Love Day with Dr. Jamie

Hello Honeybees,

One of the ways that I practice self love is by surrounding myself with women who inspire me and lift me up. On Sunday I was fortunate enough to experience self love at its best. Dr. Jamie Hardy is the founder of The Fab Gathering, The Fab Gathering is a safe space to let down your guard and to receive support and tools to elevate your health and your life. This FAB gathering was all about self love.

A little back story. I started following Dr. Jamie after meeting her at a blogger workshop. Shortly after our meeting she hosted a Fab Gathering at Char restaurant but I waited to late to get my ticket. That was not the case this time.

Dr. Jamie, a pharmacist by trade, is on a mission to help women to be fit, FABulous, and fulfilled by giving their food, actions, and beliefs a makeover. She encourages women to live a healthy lifestyle without pills. Yes you read that right, a pharmacist trying to get us off the meds.

The day began with a panel of beautiful black educated women dropping gems on everything from navigating storms to self image and of course saying NO.

Melody Hubbard-Robinson dropped the first gem. During the introductions when most people tell who they are and what they do for a living, Melody said: “My job is….. but my purpose is….” I love that because we are more than our jobs. We all have a purpose and you are blessed if they are the same.

Dr. Kristen Walker let us know that if self care becomes stressful then you aren’t doing it right.

Kim Cox Esq. reminded us that you always have options. Don’t be afraid to take the chance to have joy.

Dr. Audrey Townsel dropped on of the most important gems of all about dealing with other people. When pouring into other people make sure that they can pour back into you.

I told you these ladies were fierce and I received every word of it.

After the panel it was time to hydrate because Dr. Jamie knew that we were gonna need it. Twana Johnson got us up and moving. We did a “quick” 7 minutes of cardio to get our heart rate up. 30 minutes a day is all we need to get us started & to help us stay fit. Twana’s gem was “You can catch someones cold but you can’t catch good health” That my friends is on you.

After getting our groove on we hit the mat, the yoga mat that is. My favorite yogi, Jackie O lead our practice. I am always in a calmer state of mind after yoga with Jackie.

Dr. Jamie then talked to us about the important benefits of journaling and introduced us to her new soon to be released Self Love Kit. Head over to The Fab Gathering website for more details.

As promised we had a healthy and delicious lunch. I was full but not stuffed. A perfect combination.

This was the perfect way to spend part of my Sunday. I was so inspired by all of the women. I am so happy that I had the chance to experience Self Love Day with the Fab Gathering.

Job well done Dr. Jamie.

 

Beewisdom- If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. ~ Buddha

Testing,Testing

Hello Honeybees,

As we enter Q2 of 2019 many of us have either given up on our new year’s resolutions or we are hanging tough. I didn’t make any particular resolutions but there are some things that I am making a priority. One of the biggest is my health. As you know the latter part of 2018 was tough for me health wise. I shared my story here. One thing that I learned during the time I spent in and out of the hospital is how important it is for us to take care of our bodies. In my case prevention was key.

Some might think that because they are under 40 they don’t have to worry about their health until later. Well I am here to tell you that no matter your age…. Take care of your body..NOW!!! Here are some suggested health screenings that you should consider, of course age and family history can impact when you should have this test performed. Make the appointment ASAP.

Always know your status (STI/AIDS/HIV) no matter your age

Also, please don’t forget your mental health. Seek help if you need someone to talk to. If you think you might need some help, you probably do and that’s okay. We all need some help to navigate this crazy world.

Preventive Test

Blood Pressure– A diagnosis of hypertension, or high blood pressure, is made if your blood pressure is higher than 140/90. Because high blood pressure can lead to other complications, it should be checked every two years if it’s 120/80 or under. If you have to take meds to help control your blood pressure take them. I’m got my prescription refilled this week.

Cholesterol– at least once every 4-6 years (or more frequently if you’re at risk for a heart attack).

Blood Sugar– Get a fasting blood sugar test or other screening test for diabetes or pre diabetes at least once every 3 years and take control of diabetes EARLY.

Skin Test– Check your skin for any unusual spots or moles. Be sure to ask your doctor to check your skin once a year, as well.

Immunization – People over age 50 should get a flu shot every year. And don’t forget, even healthy people need a tetanus booster shot every 10 years, and one of those should contain the pertussis vaccine for whooping cough.

Mammogram– women should have routine mammograms to help detect any early signs of breast cancer. Your doctor can tell you how often you should repeat the test. Early detection of breast cancer can save your breast and your life.

Pap Smear/Pelvic Exam – Combining a Pap test with a human papillomavirus (HPV) test can safely extend the interval between cervical cancer screenings from three years to five years in many women between the ages of 30-65.

Colonoscopy– can be done as a screening for colon cancer and other problems, usually starting at age 50. Go Get Tested

Eye Exam– Be sure to get your eyes examined regularly — at least every 1 to 2 years until age 60 and then every year thereafter. Go more often if you have vision problems or risk factors for eye problems.

Dental Check Up-You should visit the dentist at least twice year for an exam and cleaning. Your oral health can affect your physical health.

Ok, I’m off my soap box now. I want to be around to watch my sons become fathers and play with my future grandchildren. I want to travel the world and just enjoy life but I need my best body and mental state to do it. I also want you to be around to enjoy life with me.

Have you scheduled your yearly exams? If not what are you waiting on?

Beewisdom- Health is a relationship between you and your body