The Honeybee's Lifestyle

Blog

  • I Got Caught Slippin

    Hello Honeybees,

    Well, it finally happened. It took almost a year but it caught me. Yep, the Rona weight gain caught me. It seems like it really started happening after Thanksgiving. That’s when I was back to working from home full time.



    In September I started a new job and I was going into the office for 3 days a week. On those 3 days I would take my lunch which meant I was meal prepping on a more regular basis. But during the holidays we started WFH one day a week and then the numbers in Shelby County continued to climb so it was best for us to work from home as much as possible.

    In February I started to feel it. I just felt a sense of heaviness, my muscles were aching and I just felt lazy or rather unmotivated. I knew that I needed to get up and move but again “laziness” was easier. I was trying on clothes for a photo shoot and NOTHING fit. When I say nothing, I mean nothing. Even the “big” clothes in the back of the closet were tight.

    So as my friend Desiree says “Rona caught me slippin”. Also, as I seriously move into full on menopause my hormones are kicking my butt too. Not using it as an excuse although its real but I haven’t done a single thing to help in this battle. Why, because I was unmotivated.

    It’s time for me to get up and get moving. It’s also time to get back to meal prepping. When I combine the two I should be able to get my life back on track. I have Spring to drop about 15lbs before Summer but I know I can do it. My workout plan will look different this time. Loosing weight in your 50’s is a lot different than loosing weight in your 30’s. Where I use to focus on cardio, this time I will focus more on weight training. I’ll still get in the cardio but weight training is where I should have the best results. I’ll also head back to the gym AFTER I get vaccinated. 

    As a daily reminder and for a little motivation I’m dropping a penny in my workout jar for every 30 minutes of exercise I complete. It’s pennies so it won’t add up to a lot but the visual of seeing the jar fill up will do wonders for my spirit.

    Did Ms. Rona catch you slippin?

     

    Beewisdom- What seems impossible today will one day become your warm up

  • Live Life NOW!

    Hello Honeybees,

    This last year has really taught me some lessons. Thankfully the lessons were taught lessons instead of bought lessons. Bought lessons can be very expensive both emotionally and financially.  One lesson that I am taking to heart is to enjoy life everyday. For the purpose of this post I’m talking about enjoying material things. I’ll address the other ways I enjoy life outside of the material in future post.



    In July I will celebrate year 54. This year is significant to me because my mom passed when she was 54. I think about where I am in my life vs where she was at the same age. We are both single parents, hers by death and mine by divorce (kind of the same thing…just kidding). We both were homeowners (although I downsized a few years ago). Also, neither one of us at this point had ever lived alone (I’m working on emptying my nest but no real rush).

    I think about how when cleaning out her closet there were clothes that still had tags on them. I think about how she waited until she felt that I was on solid footing before she decided to truly enjoy & embrace life. She was on a Cole Haan binge because I was working at Nike & they owned Coke Hahn at the time (discount!). Our last shopping trip together would be her last shopping trip ever. That night she would suffer the fist of several strokes.

    She took me to JCPenny’s at the Mall of Memphis to buy me maternity clothes. I fussed the whole time, because I could afford to buy my own clothes, until the cashier said “baby let your momma spoil you”. I’m glad that my my well being was so important to her but at the same time I wished that she would’ve been a little bit more selfish and put her happiness first.

    So at this point in my life I’m all about spoiling ME and having some of the things that bring me joy. Of course this is all within reason because like her I want to leave a legacy for my children & grandchildren, but I also don’t want to wait until it’s too late. I deserve to live my life NOW and to enjoy it NOW. This year I will obtain 3 luxury to me items. I haven’t decided on which 3 but one will be a purse and one will be a coffee maker. These might not sound like much to you but to me they have deep meaning. These items will represent me living, embracing and enjoying life. So whatever it is that you keep putting off…STOP and do it NOW!

    Happy Birthday Momma!! Your baby is still listening and learning and enjoying life.

    Beewisdom- What is bad about luxury as long as you can afford it? – Diana Dors

  • Back To School 2020

    Back To School 2020

    Hello Honeybees,

    As students head back to school in the midst of a pandemic, parents & educators are trying to adjust. It doesn’t matter if its in person or virtually. But the children are the ones that will be impacted the most. I spent some time talking with two of my favorite people. Meet Kailey & Haley (yes twins) who will be 6th graders at Bellevue Middle School. These two ladies text me everyday and seeing their text truly brightens my day. I asked them to share how Covid & virtual learning has and will impact their lives.

    How did you spend your summer?

    Kailey- I mostly spent my summer here in Memphis at home but I did go over family members’ houses like my grandmas and my aunts and uncles.

    Haley- We spent our summer doing virtual learning videos, getting wet in the sprinkler, doing group chats, having sleepovers, taking swim lessons, helping out with our grandma and taking care of our brother.

    Are you ready for school to start?

    K– I’m ready for school to start so that I can have more to do during the day.

    H- Yes I am ready for school to start back.

    Are you ready for Middle School?

    K-I’m ready for Middle School and I know it’s going to be a great experience.

    H- Yes I am ready for Middle School.

    How do you feel about online learning?

    K-I feel great about online learning because I don’t have to worry about rushing to get in the car and it will be easier to do a small group with my teacher.

    H- I feel great about online learning because even though I’m not at school I get to experience a different type of learning.

    What will you miss most about not being in school?

    K-Something I will miss about not being in school is seeing my friends.

    H- A couple of things I will miss about not being in school are my friends, having after school activities and getting to know people.

    What has changed in your world since Covid-19?

    K– Something that has changed in my world is the everyday things because I can’t go where I want like I use to.

    H- Going out to eat, going to the hair salon and visiting family out of town.

    What do you miss most about not being able to go & come like you use to?

    K-Something I miss most about coming and going places is restaurants because they have lots of good food.

    H- A couple of things I miss about coming and going are having my mom pick me up afterwards, going to the park and hanging out with friends.

    What has COVID taught you about life so far?

    K-To spend more time with family and to enjoy being at home

    H- Covid has taught me how to be safe during a pandemic, how to make crafts, and serving and giving back to the community.

    What do you want to do after Covid is over?

    K-I want to have a family reunion after COVID is over just to see the rest of my family.

    H- After the pandemic is over I want to travel, go to the water park, spend time with my family and go to dinner.

    Anything else you want to share about this whole Covid situation?

    H- Covid had everyone on lockdown but we will all be glad when the virus is over. But since we stayed at home we have had a lot of time to learn new things.

    Thank you Kailey & Haley for sharing. The world is a better place because of you and I am proud to know you. Good luck with the school year.

    Beewisdom- “Let us remember: One book, one pen, one child and one teacher can change the world.” – Malala Yousafzai

  • What I Know For Sure

    What I Know For Sure

    Hello Honeybees,
    Today I am blessed to celebrate my 53rd trip around the sun.
    I thought I would take this moment to share a few things that, as Oprah would say, I KNOW FOR SURE. Let me add that these are things that I know for sure in my life. These are my experiences that came by way of some hardheaded bought lessons.

     

    What I know for sure:
    • You are never to old to learn
    • Surround yourself with people that care about your heart
    • You are NOT always right
    • Age does not mean mature
    • Having someone that truly loves you matters
    • You need people in your life, life is lonely and boring without others
    • You have been hurt but you have to learn to trust again (easier said than done but worth it)
    • You can enjoy life AND save for a rainy day
    • You need to travel the world to broaden your horizons
    • Your city is what you make it, Aint It Mane!

    • Everyone will not like you & that’s okay
    • Your home should be a place of peace
    • Your perfect kids are not perfect
    • Your perfect spouse is not perfect
    • Keeping folks out of your business reduces gossip
    • You can start over

    Photos by Christine Phillips
    • Bad times don’t last always & neither do the good times. Learn from both
    • Listen to your body
    • Your timeline is your timeline, stop comparing yourself to others
    • You can be in a room full of people and still be lonely
    • At the same time alone does not mean lonely
    • You can kick yourself or you can kick but!! The choice is yours

    I hope that you enjoyed my list. What is something about life that you know for sure?

    Beewisdom- You catch more flies with honey, be nice to people.
  • Q2

    Q2

    Hello Honeybees

    We are at the midpoint of 2020 and boy a lot happened in the second quarter. The first quarter for me was about Lent, hanging out, girlfriend time and thinking that by now the world would be back to normal. As we now know the world is anything but normal. 

    Protest

    Q2 brought us the stark reality of everything that is COVID-19. We went from dining out to curb side pick up. From everyone HAD to go into the office to everyone NOW working from home without an end date. From in person meetings to ZOOM, which I am SO OVER at this point. From washing your hands to washing your hands AND wear a mask AND stay 6 ft apart. To add more craziness people are actually refusing to wear a mask. How much more outrageous can we get? Well, keep reading.

    On top of a global pandemic we also have to fight racism but this time on a much different level. It’s not like Black people haven’t been fighting but we haven’t, in my opinion, seen this level of activism since the Civil Rights Movement. We are STILL fighting for basic human rights, like….walking in the park, jogging down the street, going to the store, SLEEPING IN OUR OWN BED without losing our lives. We wish we had a true leader to help guide us through this period but unfortunately we are on our own. In November…..VOTE!! VOTE!!! VOTE!!!

    Personal

    On a personal note I stepped outside my comfort zone…. I started wearing my natural hair and I did a Facebook live. 

    Quick hair story. I started transitioning in late 2018 by wearing braids. I wanted to “go natural” for years but was scared. Scared of what my natural hair would look like and how others might perceive it. Well I got over the what others might think part real quick and embraced my now fro. If you don’t like my fro then that’s on you. Blog post about this coming soon.

    The Facebook live was for Beautiful Spirited Women, an organization that empowers, support and build confidence in young women. Up to this point I had never done a live. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on live television several times and that didn’t bother me. For some reason Facebook live scared me but it didn’t stop me. It was a wonderful experience of me sharing my blogging journey. I’m ready for another one….Who’s next?

    Purchases 

    I’ve shared some of my quarantine purchases here but for Q2 I made an effort to support Black women owned businesses. I received my first CurlBox. CurlBox is a natural hair product subscription founded my Myleik Teele. I purchased local honey from The Tea Bar by DIVINITY, got my Juneteenth tshirt from Ivy Storehouse and a new print from She is This.

     

    As we head into Q3 and my birthday let’s all embrace that the world that we once knew is no longer a thing. The world is changing. People are sick & tired of being sick and tired. If you don’t know who said that….Google it!

     

    How was your Q2?

    Beewisdom- BLACK LIVES MATTER

  • It’s Not All Downhill From Here

    Hello Honeybees,

    You know how you can hear a song and it triggers certain memories? That song can take you back to a certain place, a special moment or time spent with special people. I have books that trigger certain memories too, some books I’ll reread not just because of the memories but because of the lasting effects that they have on my life. Every year I read Purpose Driven Life, and since discovering The Alchemist I had added it to the list. 

    I remember my first Zane read, my first Brenda Jackson read, my first J. California Cooper read, my first Toni Morrison read and my first Terry McMillan read. I remember what was happening in life at the time that I immersed myself in these books. The time that I sat aside to actually slow down and sit down with a book in hand and lose myself in the pages.

    Well, Terry McMillan’s It’s Not All Downhill From Here is the book for the current stage of my life. It’s about love, marriage, divorce, friendship, money, growing older, parenting, aging parents,loss and more. It’s the Waiting To Exhale for the 50 plus group. Chronicling the friendship of 5 women as they navigate this thing called life. You will find yourself in one or more of these characters. I think that I’m a combination of the main character Loretha and her girl Ko. Each lady has her own life circumstances and issues to deal with but they do it together. They each have their own flaws but hey who is perfect? We see how you can do your best as a parent but once your children are adults, especially adults, you have to let them fall. 

    We see the value in friendships, good friendships. The value in taking care of your body, at some point you won’t be able to drop it like Thee Stallion. If you do drop it you might need someone to help you up. We see the value in making good financial decisions that will enable you to leave a legacy for your loved ones. We learn that you are never too old and it is never too late for love. You are never too old for second chances and life is not all downhill no matter how many trips around the sun.

    I give this book 5 out of 5 honeypots. So grab a copy and a cocktail and read it with your girls. You will not regret it.

    For a while now I have been trying to think of a way to launch a series aimed at how life and your body changes as you get older. This book is the launch pad for that series. Still working on a name but it’s coming. Each month I will tackle a different topic. The first one next month (my birthday month) will be about menopause. Leave me a comment below with your menopause questions. Don’t worry I won’t be answering them based on my knowledge. I have some help from some experts.  

     

    Beewisdom-“Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” – Betty Friedan 

  • You Got It Girl!

    You Got It Girl!

    Hello Honeybees,
    Imposter syndrome is real. You would think that at 52 I would be past it but sometimes it still rears it’s ugly head. The good thing about this time is that God sent me encouragement immediately.
    Picture it middle of a pandemic 2020. I am asked to do a Facebook Live by an organization (Beautiful Spirited Women) that I admire about my blogging experience. My first thought was why me? My blog doesn’t have big numbers, there are more qualified people out there that could do this. My second thought was I’ve never done a Facebook Live and these internet streets aint loyal. ALL of THE excuses. But instantly God started sending the encouragement. An on time word from Myleik’s stories & my bible plan verse for the day. I asked God for these types of opportunities and bam here you go.

     

    Then I saw another post from someone offering blogging advice and thought if she can do it so can I. This wasn’t meant as a ding to someone else but it gave me the push to say look at her stepping out there, letting nothing hold her back. It inspired me to just do it.
    I think back to another time when I was asked to speak about blogging and I turned it down because I didn’t feel “worthy”. I even recommended some other people to do it. That moment has stuck with me because I look back at that moment as giving up. Let me just say, that will not happen again. I asked and God answered and I threw it back. Now we all know that’s now how this should work. I should stand tall, especially in answered prayers. It was a lesson learned and one that I won’t forget.

    Hopefully I will be asked to do more things that are outside of my comfort zone and I will accept with courage. Because as my shirt says…. Girl You Got This!

    Beewisdom- You Got It Girl- Chris Brown
    Tshirt – Mess In A Bottle
  • Bored In The House

    Bored In The House

    Hello Honeybees,
    Are you bored in the house, cause you’re in the house bored? I know you’ve heard the song and if you are like me you are tired of hearing it, even though it may be absolutely true.
    I asked my sons, one 20 & the other 18 how they were handling the whole shelter in place. My oldest was furloughed from his restaurant job and my youngest had to return home from his freshman year of college. I asked them both the same questions and here is what they shared with me:
    How do you feel about not working/leaving school?
    20 yo: A little worried wondering when/if they will reopen and relieved because I needed a break but since I don’t have vacation time I couldn’t justify taking the time off.
    18 yo: Not happy about having to leave school and NOLA. I miss the end of year plans that I made with my friends. We stay connected thru our group chat and Snapchat
     What do you miss the most?
    20 yo: Working & being outside without worry but relieved that there’s not a lot of people around our building
    18 yo: Being around my friends. Studying with friends, hanging out with friends.

     How do you spend your day?
    20 yo: Playing video games, reading, Netflix, YouTube, writing
    18 yo: Class, laptop, Twitter and video games
    What’s the first thing that you want to do when outside opens up?
    20 yo: Driving lessons (yes he’s an extremely late bloomer)
    18 yo: Go back to school. Hopefully find a summer job if possible
    How are you feeling emotionally?
    20 yo: Doing pretty good, not stressed especially after my unemployment kicked in
    18 yo: Fine. Okay.
    How are you staying mentally grounded?
    20 yo: Playing video games and writing whenever the creative
    mood hits
    18 yo: Talking to people on the internet.

    How has this changed your day to day life?
    20 yo: It hasn’t except for work.
    18 yo: Educational wise I hate online classes because being in class I am very engaged and focused. I get easily distracted at home.
      How has this changed your outlook on your future?
    20 yo: It hasn’t
    18 yo: I’m not surprised by this outcome because of who is the president. Politically & economically nothing will change unless we change the whole governmental system. What we have is not working. I predict a new system for my grandchildren.
    Me:
    As a mother I am watching, talking and asking questions. I hope to guide them through this time with as much ease as I possibly can, all while keeping my sanity in the process. It’s not always easy because they don’t want to always open up. I was very surprised that they even sat down to answer these questions. It’s a good step in the right direction, I’ll take it.

     

    How are your young people doing?

    Beewisdom-“The glory of youth is youthful strength.” – Lailah Gifty Akita

  • Sheltered Shopping

    Sheltered Shopping

    Hello Honeybees,

    I admit it, I gave in, I hit the button! Why oh why must it be this way (in my EnVogue voice).

    What did I do??? I shopped online.

    I am NOT a big online shopping person. I am a feel, touch, hold, see, try on type of girl. But since I haven’t been able to do that I had to resort to Al Gores internet for what I needed, nope what I wanted. I didn’t do too bad but here are a few things that made their way to our package cage.

    AirFryer & (Insta Pot)

    It was a battle between the AirFryer and the Insta Pot. I know that I am so late to the party on this #verzuz but better late than never. I ordered the AirFryer from Target. As a Red Card member I got free shipping and a 5% discount. Winner,winner, crispy with no oil chicken dinner. Thanks to my boo Jerrica of Missyrussellbeauty I didn’t have to order the Insta Pot. Having awesome friends makes me a double winner.

    Sheets and a Blanket

    Off to Macy’s next. I have been trying to decorate my bedroom for 3 years but I could never settle on a color palette. I didn’t want to do pink & green because that’s to obvious. So I waited and finally figured out what I wanted and guess what colors I picked….white,grey,pink & green. Some things are just in you and you just stop fighting it. With that being decided and an extra 30% off I got new green sheets & a beautiful pink blanket.

    Chanel Face Pads

    Oh you fancy uh? This was my “splurge” purchase. It’s not practical at all but hey I needed to lift my spirits and for $20 and free shipping why not. I also wanted this Chanel box. This packaging is everything.

     

    Support Local

    I supported two of my favorite female local artists Mia & Nia. After hanging my other prints that I bought from them I felt like I needed two more. So after we can go outside again for real, I’ll get those framed and hung. I also ordered some hair oil from Andrea Fenise In Search Of Our Garden. This stuff is awesome at promoting hair growth. This is my second bottle but it won’t be my last.

    I really need a few Spring & Summer pieces and a few pair of shoes but I definitely have to try all those things on. So until then I’m gonna let the sales go by me. Wish me luck!!

    How much online shopping have you done since we started sheltering in place?

    Beewisdom- On line shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days or however long shipping takes these days.

  • I Remember Momma

    I Remember Momma

    Hello Honeybees,
    On Sunday many of us will have the blessing of picking up the phone and calling or Face Timing our Mothers to say thank you & I love you. Some of us will say a prayer to our mothers in heaven. Many will have flowers, cards & gifts delivered. The usual of going to church and taking momma out to eat will look a lot different this year but we will find a way to make her day special. We have to because it’s momma.
    I still have the jewelry box that I gifted my mom one year. It didn’t cost much but she loved it. As a mother myself I get it. It really isn’t the gift but the love and thought behind the gift.  No matter how my sons show appreciation for Mother’s Day it will mean the world to me. They’ll probably cook me breakfast and TRY to make my coffee the way I like it. I probably won’t get a gift until after we can go outside again because they don’t think far enough in advance to hit up Amazon or Target.com.
    The best gift that they can give me this year is to stay inside until it’s safe. The peace of mind that I have knowing that they are safe & healthy is priceless. Are they eating up every thing in the house, yep, but I’m okay with that.
    No matter how you show your mother some love on Sunday I bet your being safe, healthy and happy would be at the top of her list. Oh and don’t just show love on Sunday, momma deserves that love. EVERYDAY.

     

    Happy Mother’s Day!!
    Beewisdom-All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” —Abraham Lincoln

     

  • Triggered

    Triggered

    Hello Honeybees,
    I think that I’ve been handling the stress of Covid-19 pretty well. Sure,like everyone else I’m ready to get back to some sense of normalcy. I haven’t had any crying spells or depression. Just taking it one day at a time and that seems to be working pretty well for me & my sons.

     

    But last week I was triggered. It started with a post I saw honoring our front line health care workers. I replied to the post & told @accordingtoQ how hard I had been praying for her. Q is a Nurse Practitioner and had possibly been exposed, so she quarantined herself FROM HER CHILDREN for their protection. She tested negative. Then later I learned that another blogger friends father was thankfully on the mend from Covid-19. She and I also share the loss of a mother. Y’all I was triggered. Emotions that I haven’t had in years started to resurface. Here’s why.

     

    The last time that I saw my dad was from a hospital window. This was 1977 and at the time I was to young to visit him in the hospital. I was 10 yrs old and the hospital unit that he was on was very strict about visitors (sound familiar). I vividly remember him waving at me from the hospital window. I couldn’t see his face up close but I could see his hand waving at me. That’s my last memory of him.
    I think about all of the parents and children, grown or otherwise, that can’t see their loved ones in the hospital. They can’t go visit or comfort them or advocate for them. I know that feeling as a 10 year old daddy’s girl and it still hurts. No visitation is not only for Covid-19 patients but anyone in the hospital for anything. My friend had her baby two weeks ago and was only allowed one support person. My bff had her first grandchild but she couldn’t be there to witness his birth. Again, this hurts.

     

    I’m blessed that my village rallied around this 10 year old so that 40 plus years later even though I’m triggered I can still thrive. I know how to handle those feelings. Sharing them with you right now is one of the ways that I am managing. Having my cousin and friends checking on me keeps me in contact with those that care. Spending time with my sons reminds me how blessed I am to have them. I’m gonna be alright.
    I’m praying for anyone that can’t support their loved ones at this time. I’m praying for those that are sick themselves. I’m praying for our collective health and strength. I’m praying for our country and our planet. Together we will get to the other side of this. Stay safe!
    Beewisdom- Your life was a blessing, your memory a treasure. Renee Wood

     

  • Jean Check

    Hello Honeybees,
    I’ve completely lost count of how long I’ve been #shelteredinplace. The days, weeks & now months have all run together. I’m tired of cooking, I’m tired of cleaning the kitchen (I don’t like the way my sons do it). I am most definitely tired of zoom calls for work or pleasure.
    We’ve all had to make some adjustments especially when it comes to diet & exercise. I walk outside as much as possible but if it’s too cold or wet I’ll walk inside my building.
    I’m also still watching what I eat. Before Corona I was meal planning. It more so for financial reasons than diet but it worked for both so win-win. These days I’m not meal planning as much but I’m also not pigging out. I try to keep healthy snacks around & even though Lent is over & I can have sweets I’m not going back.
    I don’t have a scale & since the YMCA is closed I can’t weigh myself so I do the next best thing…. I try on my jeans!! If the jeans still fit I’m okay. When the jeans can’t button it’s time to put in MORE work. Now THIS will drive me to a Zoom workout.
    Since business is now virtual and you only get to see my top, like most people I have on sweats or something super comfy on the bottom. So giving my jeans a test run once a week helps me to gauge where I am. I would love to come out of this a size smaller.
    I hope everyone is staying safe. We are definitely each other’s keeper at this point. Your not going out can save someone’s life.
    Beewisdom- You are not hungry sis. Close the refrigerator door.

  • Q1 2020

    Hello Honeybees,
    Well it’s the end of Q1 and if you thought that this is how it would end then I need you to pick some lottery numbers for me. Cause we gonna be rich. Q1 was actually pretty good until it wasn’t.
    Here is a quick highlight of what happened:
    Gave up sugar/sweets for Lent. My skin is saying “what took you so long”. I also started meal prepping which saved me a lot of money & time. Ironic that now we are encouraged to go eat out (curbside pickups) to help support local restaurants.

    I also signed up to be a mentor at a middle school. It’s something that has been on my vision board for two years. I always thought that I would mentor older children but I follow the signs. Hate that it got cut short. I was so ready for this.
    I won two Instagram contest! Both from black Women entrepreneurs. I also intentionally supported some black businesses. This is a big goal of mine for 2020. Attended my first Mardi Gras ball (first trip to NOLA), spent a weekend in Chicago and an overnight in NOLA (to pick up my son).
    0
    Had my first three figure brand deal. According to the equation I should’ve only asked for a low two figures. This was a case of knowing your worth.
    Spent some quality time with my girls. We started the year off with breakfast and finished the quarter with an impromptu Sunday potluck.
    I can’t forget my three blogger events. Met some new ladies at the Blogger Xchange Galentines Day mixer and right before the shutdown did a Power40 class with my blogger boo Desiree @mochadivas at the Y. And I got to hang out with Elvis to help Wendy’s launch their new breakfast menu. If you haven’t tried the potatoes you are missing out.
    Whew, Q1 owes me nothing, well maybe these last few weeks. Yep, I’ll take those back. During this shelter in place I am taking the time to plan Q2. There are some personal goals that I really,really want and need to achieve and of course some blogger goals.

     

    Prayerfully, by the end of Q2 life will be back to semi normal and goals will be crushed.

     

    How was your Q1?
    Beewisdom- “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
    ― Albert Einstein

  • Two Weeks

    Hello Honeybees,

     

    Life comes at you fast, sometimes a little too fast.
    Two weeks ago I was in Chicago with my god daughter doing a college tour. I was enjoying the unexpectedly beautiful weather, strolling down Michigan Ave popping into stores looking at things that are definitely not in my budget. I was being cautious with the extra hand washing, using hand sanitizer & wiping down surfaces. This was not new as it is a habit especially when traveling. But oh how things took a turn.

     

    Two weeks!! Who knew that in two weeks life as I & many others know it would be turned upside down.

     

    Getting back into Memphis on a Sunday, resting on Monday, getting back in the work grove on Tuesday, preparing for a big work event scheduled for Thursday and ready for the local school district to go on Spring Break (work would slow down a little). Colleges would start to extend Spring Break. My son who attends Xavier University Of Louisiana had Spring Break a long side Mardi Gras so they were already back in the swing of college life. The school decided to go to online learning but students could stay on campus. He wanted to stay & I wanted him to stay.
    Thursday we had to postpone a big work event and SCS Spring Break was extended for an extra week. Friday we were told to work from home the next week.

     

    By Sunday I was on the road to NOLA to bring my baby home. Monday evening the school decided to close the dorms but we were home safe.

     

     

    Wednesday my oldest son was laid off from his restaurant job.

     

    Thursday the city was officially on lock down.

     

    Two weeks!! In two weeks I went from enjoying the normal things in life to social distancing. No hanging out, no browsing in stores, no nothing. I go to the store for essentials only and back home. The comfort of being able to go downstairs in my building to grab coffee or just to hang out and people watch is on hold. Most places have been forced to temporarily close so there are no people to watch.

     

     

    Unexpected life changes like Covid-19 can really catch us off guard. But it’s how we react to it that matters most. I am optimistic that we will all come out of this as better people. We will learn to be grateful for the people who REALLY keep our world moving. We will be happy to say hello to strangers. We will welcome that hug from a loved one. Hanging out with our family and friends will have a new and deeper meaning.

     

    I think that we have a few more weeks of social distancing before we can start to ease back into “normal” life and I am ready for it.

     

    Hang in there y’all we can do this!! BYE!
    Beewisdom-People change, things go wrong, shit happens, but life goes on- Unknown

  • Speaking My Language

    Hello Honeybees,

    It’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air.

    I’m sure by now you have heard of The 5 Love Language book and quiz. I have read the book and taken the quiz and it always comes back the same…. My first love language is Acts of Service. For me actions speak louder than words. It doesn’t have to be anything overly dramatic or huge but it does need to come from the heart.

    So on this February 14th in the year 2020 I am sharing a few ways to speak my love language:

    A love note just because
    Running my bath water
    Packing my lunch

    All things car related, gas, air in tires, washing
    Doing the grocery shopping
    A random kiss
    Watching a movie together
    Going to a game together or watching a game on t.v.

    Bring me a glass of wine and a single flower stem at the end of a long day!!!!

    Taking the Love Language quiz together and talking about how to speak each others language would be an awesome way to connect on this day of love.

    I hope that someone is speaking your love language today.

    Do you know your love language? Do you know your partners love language?

    Beewisdom- Love doesn’t erase the past, but it makes the future different-Gary Chapman

     

     

     

     

  • Thank You

    Hello Honeybees,

    Quick question….. When do you put up your Christmas tree? Growing up we didn’t put up our tree until December 15th. Not sure why but that was the date. As I got older and was able to decorate myself I would put up the tree on December 1st. When I started having kids I moved to the day after Thanksgiving. This year I’m shooting for the day before Thanksgiving, if not it will definitely be the day after.

    I like for Thanksgiving to have its own special place. For me Thanksgiving is not about the “story” of the pilgrims breaking bread with the Indians, but about breaking bread with my family and friends. To me it’s about who made the mac & cheese and who is getting their first shot at making a real dish for everyone to judge. It’s family coming together when it’s not a funeral. It’s about meeting new boyfriends & girlfriends, wondering if they will make it till Christmas.

    It’s about being grateful for where we are right now and what we have come through so far this year. It’s remembering those we have lost and being thankful for the impact that they had on our lives.

    I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Last year I was just recovering from my second major surgery in 3 months. Now I am healthy, happy and whole. My oldest is slowly finding his way in life. My youngest is excelling in college away from home. My family loves and supports me and my friends are truly the bomb.

    I am also thankful for you. Yes YOU!! You didn’t have to stop by my little piece of the internet but you did and for that I say THANK YOU. To put some action behind my words I am doing a giveaway. For anyone that signs up for the blog (enter your email address under the Follow Blog via Email box) you will be entered to win a $50 Target gift card and a box of Merci chocolates. If you have already signed up (via email), then you will automatically be entered. Just a small token of my appreciation for you.

    What are you thankful for?

    Beewisdom-Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone. -Gertrude Stein

  • Advice To A Younger Honeybee

    Hello Honeybees,

    If you follow me on IG you know that I attended Karleen Roy’s inaugural Owning The Block event. I enjoyed seeing Memphis come together to support one of its own. The guest for the event was Myleik Teele. SN: Myleik has been on my vision board for a few years & I got to meet her & of course take a picture.

    During the event Karleen asked Myleik what advice she would to her 20 year old self. It got me to thinking about what I would tell my 20 year old self. Before my 20’s were over I was a married college graduate working in corporate America.

    If there were some words of wisdom that I would give to a younger Honeybee it would start with this:

    Although you took the long route to graduation you did it. Don’t hold on to the fact that it took you longer, celebrate the joy that you finished. In taking that long route in college keep going and get that Masters degree. Don’t let 20 years go by.

    Live on your own before you get married. You went from your mother to your husband. You needed the time on your own to mature just a little bit more. You needed the time to learn to stand on your own two feet.

    Travel, go see the world! I mean the WORLD! Leave the USA and enjoy yourself.

    Save, Save, Save and Save some more. Yes you were wise to get in your 401k in your 20’s but you need to save a little more on the side. You need to get in the habit of saving.

    Embrace that “skinny” women that you are and don’t listen to the haters. You look good just the way you are. One day you’ll wish that you were still trying to gain weight. Get in the habit of exercising so that it becomes a way of life.

    Finally, GO FOR IT!!! You wanted to work in corporate communications but when you had the opportunity to meet with the bank president one on one you didn’t capitalize on it because you didn’t know how. Find a mentor, they could’ve helped you navigate this better.

    I’m thankful for the lessons that I learned in my 20’s because they helped to shape the future me and I actually did LEARN something.

    One day I’ll share what I would tell my 30 year old self because those years were truly pivotal.

    What advice would you give your 20 year old self? Leave me a comment below.

    Beewisdom- Remember yourself as a little girl, she is counting on you to protect her.

     

  • I Messed Up

    Hello Honeybees,

    Saturday I was a plus one for Audacity Fest 2019. My blogger boo @mocha_divas had a press pass for the fest and invited me to join her. I agreed to go without doing my due diligence on the event. That was a big mistake on my part. Y’all I messed up. Big time!

    The Audacity Fest is a festival that celebrates black travel and the fact that it was in Memphis was a pretty big deal. Seeing so many people of color come together to share their experiences & best practices was simply beautiful. There were sessions that catered to everything from culinary travel, adventure travel and luxury travel. Of course the highlight for me was budget travel. The festival was 3 days in various locations around the city. They showed Memphis a lot of love.

    I finally got a passport this year and started a savings account using my digit app for some international travel for next year. So I’m already in a travel mood. Had I been better prepared for Audacity Fest I would’ve been more selective in choosing which sessions to attend & being better prepared for retaining the information.

    Thanks to the power of Instagram I was able to see what I missed. My lesson learned here was to be knowledgeable about events before I attend them, even if I’m not obligated to post about them. I missed out on some great opportunities and possible connections because I didn’t do my homework.

    Next years Audacity Fest will be in New York. Maybe just maybe I’ll be able to attend on a budget using some of the information that I learned.

    Beewisdom- Adventure is worthwhile – Aesop

     

  • Forgive Yourself

    Hello Honeybees,

    We are all a work in progress. No one has it all together no matter what their Instagram feed or Facebook page says. I know that I am definitely a serious work in progress. I’m working on me! One of the major things that I am working on is forgiving myself.

    The weird thing is that I will forgive, not necessarily forget, a person that has done me wrong. But when it comes to me forgiving me that’s where I have a block. I hold myself to a much higher standard than I do other people because I can only control me & my actions.

    I’ve made some huge mistakes in my past that I am still trying to forgive myself for. I have asked God for forgiveness & I believe that He has forgiven me, so why am I still holding on? The holding on is keeping me from moving forward. I need to leave all of that baggage in the past where it belongs. Y’all that stuff is heavy, too heavy for me to keep carrying. It takes up to much mental & emotional space. I need that space to enjoy my NOW.

    So as you are reading this know that I am one gigantic step closer to forgiving myself, to letting the past go and moving forward. From this day forward I will no longer entertain what I use to do. I will only entertain what I do now and in the future. I’m leaving the past where it belongs….in the past. I forgive ME!

    What past mistake are you holding on to? What’s stopping you from letting them go?

    Beewisdom-“Never forget that to forgive yourself is to release trapped energy that could be doing good work in the world.” -D. Patrick Miller

     

    Photos: Desiree @mocha_divas  

  • Position Yourself

    Hello Honeybees,

    Recently I was listening to Soledad O’Brien speak on a podcast about her leaving CNN. She spoke about how they never really “fired” her but they offered her a different position that she felt was not a good fit for her. To her credit she was able to walk away from CNN because she had financially positioned herself to do so. While working at CNN she was frugal with her money so that she was able to make better decisions based on what she wanted to do vs. what she had to do.

    We’ve all been there. And there is being somewhere because you feel like you have to. Being in a relationship because you feel like you have to. If I leave this relationship then I’ll be alone. If I leave this job then how will I survive? Because let’s face it, we all have bills to pay.

    Positioning yourself means giving yourself options. It’s a very helpless feeling knowing that other people literally hold your destiny in their hands. Hopefully they will have your best interest at heart but then again they may not. It’s a crap shoot.

    So how do you position yourself?

    Financially- living below your means. Have a nest egg so that if you need to make a decision you are making it from a point of substance and not survival.

    Skills- work on improving your skill set so that you have more to offer. If you only know how to do one thing, then one thing is all that you can do.

    Find your side hustle- this goes along with your finances AND improving your skills. That side hustle can help you to save. That side hustle can be your additional skill. This combination can be life saving.

    Network- get to know people outside of your circle, that includes having a mentor. People who know you & your worth. People who can and will advocate for you, even when you are NOT in the room.

    I encourage you to position yourself so that when you are ready to move, you can…..just like that!

    What part of your life needs a position change?

    Beewisdom-“Proper positive positioning is the key to experiencing miracles.” Edmond Mbiaka

     

    Photos by kaughtbykaete.com 

  • Blogger XPO 2019

    Hello Honeybees,

    August was a crazy busy month. It started with a focus on family and ended with a focus on me. I spent a weekend in Nashville at the 2nd annual Blogger Xchange XPO.

    The Blogger Xchange was founded by Leigh Love & Kay Elle. Both are Nashville natives that grew up together. They saw a need to bring the growing Nashville blogger community together and thus their first event was created. Leigh is a music, travel & events blogger. Kay Elle is a beauty, fashion and lifestyle blogger. The two together make a very dynamic team.

    Fortunately for our local blogger community, they do come to Memphis to host classes which have been very helpful. So when I got the chance to attend this years XPO I jumped at it. My blogger boo Mocha_Divas and I hit the highway headed east ready to learn and grow.

    Thursday night was VIP night. Once there we checked in to our hotel and got ready for a walking photo tour with Photo Walk Tour the Gulch. So many Instagramable spaces. Christy & Abbey did an great job especially working with all of us bloggers. We finished the tour at Winky Lux by making flower crowns. We didn’t make the kick off party that night because after the drive up and the photo walk we were tired but I heard that the guys from Slim & Husky’s shared some great advice.

    Saturday was the big day. After a healthy breakfast from Rush Bowls and Box Water we headed into hear Memphis’ own Paris Chanel give the keynote speech. My takeaway from Paris was to pursue your passion. Blogging is a passion project for me so this was confirmation that I was in the right place. The rest of the day was filled with very informative sessions. My notebook is full of gems and action plans.

    One of the speakers in my first session “Writing with Soul” was Brittney Oliver. When Brittney started to share her story I thought to myself, this sounds so familiar. Turns out I heard Brittney on one of my favorite podcast Switch,Pivot or Quit. A few of my other sessions included Perfecting the Feed and The Business of Blogging. The Business of Blogging helped us to understand some of the legal aspects of blogging. You know all those FTC rules and regulations.

    Sunday Brunch fed my soul. The food provided by Chef Batts was delicious and the adult beverages were plentiful. But our brunch speaker Kenya Raymer of @Halfietruth was REAL. She  talked about setting boundaries in these internet streets and if you follow Kenya then you know that she doesn’t play about this and I so admire that. She also talked about being authentic, something that she does so well. It’s always interesting to me to meet people that I follow in person. I’m not always sure how to approach them but Kenya put me at ease.

    I have my blog to do list and I have already tackled the first item. Yea me!!!! I also won a $150 gift card to Macy’s. I feel a haute fall wardrobe in my future.

    I can not express the impact from the Blogger XPO weekend. Not just for the blog but for my life. I am already looking forward to next years XPO but in the meantime I’ll be ready for the next blogger class in Memphis.

    Thanks Leigh & Kay for an awesome weekend. See you next year.

     

    Beewisdom- “Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.” – Malcolm X

     

    //assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js

  • 901 to 504

    Hello Honeybees,

    Despite the title this post is not about me taking my son to college in New Orleans. In fact it has absolutely nothing to do with our college drop off experience. This 901 to 504 has everything to do with a new boutique that just opened this past week in the Edge District in Memphis.

    I had the privilege of interviewing the owners Stephanie and Lisa and attending an event a few days before the grand opening.

    What does the name mean? Where did it come from?

    Nine01 II Five04 is a combination of area codes from Memphis and New Orleans. 
    Two best friends separated by area codes and the Mississippi River came together 
    in Memphis to open our first boutique. 

     

     

    How did you find each other?

     

    We met in a really odd way about ten years ago. Let me preface by saying, both of us are southern women who say please and thank you and hold doors for people. We were both walking into a building and a woman in front of us let the door slam right in our faces. Lisa and I both started talking about how rude the occurrence was and then the conversation continued. We are talkers so it went on for a while and we realized we had so much in common. I told Lisa I was a stylist and we started shopping together. Not that she needs my help picking out clothes, it was just a fun way for us to hang out. 

     

    What made you open the store?

     

    Owning our own store is something we both have wanted before we even knew one another. 
    Stephanie started working in retail at age 15 and it became her dream to have her own store because of her love for fashion, merchandising and styling people to make them look and feel their best. Lisa has always loved fashion and shopping. She is a business owner in New Orleans so she has the expertise with the paperwork and financial aspect side. Together, we have an excellent balance to create a successful retail business. The dynamic just works for us. We are both only children and have found a sisterhood with each other. It’s so amazing to come to our store 6 days a week, build something we’ve both dreamed of and work with your best friend. 

     

     

     

    Why this location?

     

    After a few years of talking about opening our own business, we decided to make the leap and ventured out to find the perfect space. We started looking in late 2017 and it took about a year to find what we wanted. We picked the 676 Marshall Ave location for the high foot traffic and proximity to Sun Studios. There is so much happening in the Medical District / The Edge and we wanted to get in on 
    the ground floor of development to make our mark in the area. Lisa and I looked in several areas of Memphis but The Edge District just felt right. You know when you get that feeling that everything is going to fall into place? That’s the feeling we had when we saw this building. It was important to us to find a space where we felt at home and we found that at 676 Marshall. Also, the cross street is South Orleans Avenue so we agreed that was a great plus side and would help to encompass the 504 area code in our business name. 

     

     

     

    What brands do you carry? How much is local?

    When we went to market, we wanted to find items that no one else really had in the city. We are the only retail store carrying Duck Head and are hosting a Memphis Tigers Tailgate with them on August 31 to promote the store and the Collegiate Duck Head line. We are carrying Psycho Bunny for men, 7Diamonds, Bed Stu and Duke Cannon. Our women’s selection is extensive. We have gorgeous handmade dresses from Spain, woven boots and backpacks from The Netherlands and handcrafted bags from Russia. Things you won’t find anywhere else in the city. We are also housing local art from our respective cities of Memphis and New Orleans with lines like Sarah Ott New Orleans, Estes Designs, Paper Cloth Glass, Hard Knot Designs, Cry Baby Club Gang, Jo Wayland-Smith Art, Antzee Magruder Fabric Art and we will be carrying Kristin Magdalene Knits for fall. 

    Who is your “customer”

    In a world that is divided there’s no room for more turmoil. We even have a doormat that reads, “All Are Welcome Here.” There is something in Nine01 II Five04 for every man and woman in sizes up to 3X. We have Memphis art starting at $3 and quality leather goods topping the chart at $600. There is something in here to fit any budget and lifestyle. We wanted to create a one stop shop. At our boutique you can pick up an inexpensive gift for a co-worker and treat yo self while you’re here. 

    There you have it. Stop by and visit the store and tell them that The Honeybee sent you.

     

     

    Beewisdom- Love Where You Live, Shop Local

  • Seasons Change

    Hello Honeybees,

    I wrote this post seating on the couch in an Airbnb in New Orleans. I was in NOLA to take my youngest son to college. My smallest birdie is learning to fly, but that’s another post for another day once I get all of these emotions together.

    One thing on this journey that I have come to embrace is that my season is about to change. I have spent the last 20 years of my life making sure that the two humans that I delivered into this world had everything that they needed. For most of their life it has been just me. But the time has come where they are no longer my day to day responsibility. No, I’m not just throwing in the towel on them, quite the opposite. It’s just that my level of involvement is shifting gears.

    I no longer have to attend back to school activities, PTA meetings, school programs and parent teacher conferences. I no longer have to find child care for the breaks (this time has long since passed but stay with me here) or for those last minute snow days. I use to hold on to vacation and sick days just in case one of the boys got sick so I would have the time to take off.

    Well those days are no more. My season has changed. My new season is all about moi. I can now move about life on my terms and let me tell you it feels wonderful already. Just the thought of it makes me do a happy dance. It makes me excited for what is to come.

    Big changes are headed my way and I am ready.

    So if you see me out in these streets just know that I am enjoying my new season.

     

    Beewisdom- To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1

  • Peace Be Still

    Hello Honeybees,

    A few months ago I asked what excites you? This month I want to know what brings you peace? What keeps you centered? What helps to sooth your soul? Where do you find your zen moments?

    We spend a lot of time running, moving and staying busy. I don’t mean running & moving as in exercise but running as in errands and handling day to day life. We spend a lot of time taking care of those around us, especially our children or aging parents. We live a go, go, go life. But when all of the running, and the hustle & bustle stop what helps you to center yourself? What makes you be still and exhale?

    Sometimes our bodies will slow us down if we don’t take care of it. Sometimes our loved ones or our friends will slow us down. True friends will call you out and pull your coat tail as my grandma says. But when YOU take control, how do you slow down, exhale and find peace?

    This looks different for everyone. What works for someone else might not work for you. Some people might see cooking as a peaceful way to center themselves, to others it could be soaking in the tub surrounded by candles.

    I find my peace in having a quiet moment alone reading a book with a cup of hot tea or a glass of wine. If at all possible this would be on a beach or near a body of water. But the key word for me is ALONE. I relish my time alone. It brings me so much peace and stillness. I love being around people but I can get “peopled” out real quick. My sons understand this and they know when to leave momma alone. My alone time recharges my battery.

    It’s okay to find your peace and to enjoy it. You deserve it! Now go find YOUR peace.

    Beewisdom- Nobody can bring you peace but yourself -Ralph Waldo Emerson

     

  • Birthday Lessons

    Hello Honeybees, 

    I’ve had 52 wonderful trips around the sun and it stands to reason that I have learned some valuable lessons. So to celebrate my birthday I am sharing some lessons that have helped to shape me.

    • People are fine with you as long as you stay in the place that makes them comfortable. When you step outside of the comfort zone that they have for you, they say that you are changing and they have a hard time handling it. But that’s the time that you know that you are growing. That’s the time when you should grow faster and stronger. Don’t ever let someone dictate your growth. If they can’t handle your growth then they don’t have your best interest at heart. Don’t ever stop growing no matter what.

     

    • Privilege is a powerful drug. Be sure not to overdose.

     

    • People will always have the right solution to the problem until it’s their problem to solve. Somethings are easier said than done.

     

    • When people push you in a negative way…stand up and push back. Don’t let people run over you, you deserve better than that, hell you are better than that.

     

    • Don’t miss this one… the Donald Trumps of this world won’t always look or act like him. Some exhibit the same tendencies they are just smoother with it.

    • You are never too old to start over. Don’t live in a space of fear. Do what makes your spirit happy & your soul sing.

     

    • You have a special power, embrace it, use it. Believe in yourself & don’t let anyone talk you out of it. Get out of your own head.

     

    • You can be your biggest cheerleader or your biggest distraction, it’s up to you.

     

    • If you’ve never driven a car you can’t teach me how to drive. If you’ve never turned on a stove you can’t teach me how to bake. Watch who you take advice from & watch who you follow.

     

    • When people throw you under the bus don’t give them the opportunity to back up over you.

    • You are a beacon of hope for someone, share your story, God gave it to you for a reason.

     

    • Go to therapy, not because it’s the “in”thing to do but because we all have stuff to deal with.

     

    • Don’t live in a mindset of bare minimum, live in a mindset of abundance.

     

    • We can’t help getting older but we don’t have to get old.

    • Don’t let one scene takeover the story of your whole life.

     

    • People interpret what you say based on their experience.

    Last but certainly not least….

    • Protect your melanin, wear sunscreen.

    I hope that you have enjoyed these lessons. I look forward to sharing more lessons next year. Meet me here July 16, 2020!

     

    Beewisdom-Mistakes are made, lessons are learned- Kushandwizdom

  • One Day

    Hello honeybees,

    We all have that one article of clothing that we keep in the back of the closet that we will get back into “ONE DAY”. For most it’s a pair of jeans but for me it was this dress.

    A little history on this dress. One of my bff’s was purging her closet and gave me this dress. Y’all this was so long ago that I can’t even remember what year it was. Yes, I said YEARS. When I first saw this dress I fell in love with it. The color and the shape was just so beautiful to me. I’m not surprised by this because my bff has great taste. In fact a lot of the clothes that I wear are either thrifted or she handed them down to me. I love clothes, dressing up and sometimes I even like to shop but I can always count on her to give me some beautiful pieces.

    The first time I tried on this dress I couldn’t get it over my hips. Imagine my disappointment. My heart was broken. Since this dress came into my life I have done several closet purges including downsizing from a house to an apartment. But I just couldn’t part with this dress. Whenever I would see it in my closet I would mentally say….ONE DAY!

    So today I am happy to say that I made it. Not only can I get the dress over my hips I can zip it and I have plenty of room to breathe (insert praise shout here).

    So why did I share this story? Because although it took me years, with an S, to get into this dress I never gave up. I knew in my heart of hearts that one day I would be able to rock it. It was about the goal that I attached to this dress. So whatever goal you are trying to conquer, whether it’s losing weight or something else, don’t give up. It might not happen on your ideal schedule but if you keep at it, it will happen.

     

     

    Beewisdom- Speak over yourself

  • C Zone

    Hello Honeybees,

    By nature I love being comfortable. I love knowing the plan. I love knowing the what next. My comfort zone is like a big warm blanket in front of the fireplace on a chilly day. All nice and cozy.

    But lately I’ve been pushed outside of my comfort zone. And guess what? I’m okay with it. I’m discovering that being outside of my comfort zone can be fun and who doesn’t like a little fun?

    You rarely ever make changes in the world by staying in the comfort zone. Beyond your comfort zone is adventure. I’m ready to go to new places,try new things, experience new and adventurous fun.

    Believe it or not wearing this outfit is waaayyy outside my comfort zone. The prints to me are big & bold and I need a solid color in there somewhere hence the purse for a pop of color. I really love this look. It’s my baby step on the wild side.

    We have now entered #Cancerszn and for my 52nd birthday on the 16th I want to do something outside of my comfort zone.

    Leave me some suggestions on what I should do & I’ll let you know what I decide.

    Outfit is completely thrifted

  • Slow Down

    Hello Honeybees,

    In a recent conversation with my oldest son I asked him what was an important lesson that he has learned. He is all of 19 so the answer that I received was not what I expected but one that I totally understood.

    His answer was “it’s okay to take things slow”.

    How many 19 year olds truly understand that concept? He has never known life without the internet. He has never had to depend only on the mailman to deliver things. He’s never known what it feels like to only have a landline. So for him to understand the concept of taking things slow was refreshing.

    He came to this realization during a doctors visit. This was his first visit to an “adult” doctor and she took the time to talk to him about life, school, work and his future. She reassured him that he could accomplish everything he wanted and that it was okay for him to take his time. That made him feel so much better about himself. It was a confidence booster.

    Because he had a very rough college start he was discouraged and felt like he disappointed me. Not gonna lie I was not happy with him but I had to realize that he is not me or his brother and that he has to do things the way that works best for him. So going slow it is. He is excited to restart his college journey at a slower pace, his pace.

    The child is teaching the parent. I admit that sometimes I hate taking things slow, I want it when I want it which is usually NOW. But watching him move at his pace has encouraged me to do the same. I’m in a waiting period in my life right now and believe me I want to rush to the end but this 19 year old has shown this 50 plus year old that sometimes slow and steady wins the race.

    What area in your life do you need to slow down?

     

    Beewisdom- The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit – Moliere

  • Daddy Lessons

    Hello Honeybees,

    My daddy Alabama, momma …..

    okay that’s it because my momma was born right here in Memphis,Tennessee and we ain’t nowhere near creole but Chicago brought them together so I don’t know what that makes me……Lol!!!

    Last month for Mother’s Day I shared a lesson that my mom taught me so for Fathers Day I’m sharing a lesson that my father taught me. My dad died when he was only 32 years old and I was 10. But in those 10 years he taught me some very valuable and life affirming lessons. The time that we had together holds an extremely special place in my heart.

    One of the most important lessons that my dad taught me was the value of an education. I promised my dad that I would go to college and earn my degree. I don’t know why that lesson stuck with me, part of it could be that he promised me a car if I went to college. Even though I knew that my mom couldn’t afford to buy me a car I knew that I was going to keep my promise. It was too important not to, so off to college I went. It wasn’t easy and I took longer than 4 years but I did it and made both of my parents proud. Together we made that promise a reality.

    My dad wanted a better educational future for me compared to his. I never truly understood just how proud my dad would’ve been of me until my own children started graduating. I too want my sons to have better than I did. Just like I had to find my way my oldest is finding his way and just like my parents I will be his support to help him navigate this crazy world. My youngest, who is headed to Xavier University in New Orleans, once told me that he wanted to earn his PhD because it’s better than my MBA. All that I have to say to that is “Go Get It” but I’m not promising a car.

    As we celebrate this Father’s Day, let us remember the lessons that our father’s taught us. If your dad is still alive make sure you tell him thank you for those lessons. If your dad, like mine, is no longer here on earth, whisper a prayer of thanks.  He’ll receive it.

    Happy Father’s Day!

     

    Beewisdom- “A good father will leave his imprint on his daughter for the rest of her life.” – Dr. James Dobson

  • Controlled Chaos

    Hello Honeybees,

    Nine years ago I had a lot going on in my life. I was going through a divorce, my sons were acting out, I was working a full time job, I was going through a leadership program AND I started a MBA program. To be honest some of this was in my control. I didn’t have to start the leadership program or the MBA program at that particular time but for some reason everything just happened at the same time. Kind of like the perfect storm. It was controlled chaos.

    As I look back over that time I wonder how I survived. How did I even have the strength to not only keep moving forward but to do it successfully? I completed the leadership program, earned my MBA and finalized my divorce. My sons was a longer process but we all made it through.

    But what I learned about myself during that time was just how strong I am. I also learned that I can thrive in the midst of chaos. I can get laser focused on what I need to do to survive and then execute.

    Here’s my concern, why do I have to be in chaos to thrive? One thing that I am discovering about myself is that the more that I have going on the better. If I am sitting still doing nothing I’d probably loose it. It makes me lazy. Controlled Chaos always brings out the best in me.

    I like having peace but shaking things up a little keeps me on my toes. If my chaos is not controlled then I am not at my best. The chaos has to be controlled. Surprise chaos is stressful.

    Thriving in chaos requires a mental, physical and emotional toughness. But staying positive that everything will work out helps. Surrounding myself with a support system that encourages me is important. But more importantly my faith that God will see me through it all is the power that I need to keep moving forward.

    Do you thrive in chaos?

     

    Beewisdom- All great changes are preceded by chaos – Deepak Chopra

     

     

  • Digit

    Hello Honeybees,

    One influencer that moved me to action was Memphis blogger Andrea Fenise. Andrea started a series of post about her savings journey. It’s a VERY personal account of how she is saving. She shares the ups & the downs. This got me to thinking more about my saving habits & how I could make them better.

     

    One way for me to save is if I never see the money and I can’t have easy access to it. I have $50 automatically go into an account that is managed by my Ameriprise financial adviser. It’s a slow and steady way for me to build. I don’t see it & in order for me to access it I have to call him. I know if I call him he’s going to ask me all kinds of questions like; Why do I need the money? Saying I want to buy a pair of shoes or a purse is not gonna cut it. It’s his job to help me not make dumb financial decisions. He keeps me accountable and I’m okay with that.

     

     

    Another way that I’m saving is by using the Digit app. Y’all this has been a game changer for me. Digit takes money out of your linked account and puts it into a rainy day account. I also set up another account for an August trip. So it pulls money daily and puts into each account. Now I was scared to have money automatically come out of my account like this and daily at that! Whew chile the anxiety!! Remember that other $50, yeah I can’t have too many things on auto. But the beauty of this is that Digit “learns” your spending habits. It also lets you set a pause limit. So if your linked account falls below a certain amount Digit won’t transfer any money.

     

    If your account gets to a threshold that you set, Digit will transfer money from your Rainy Day account back to your linked account. Another of my things about the app is that it lets you know you balance on your linked account and it tells you why. I get a text that says MLGW cleared today for $100 and your balance is now $1,010. You also have the flexibility to move money back into your account when needed.

     

     

    I will say that having Digit is helping me to stay on my spending toes. Having a constant reminder of how & where I’m spending just what I needed.

     

    If you want to try Digit use my link for the referral. They will give you $5 for signing up. https://digit.co/r/bJBn40_g9V?ad&twb=true

     

    No this is not sponsored. Just like Andrea got me to thinking about my savings, I want you to do the same. Let’s all save, build and grow together.

     

     

    Beewisdom- Don’t tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I’ll tell you what they are. –James W. Frick

  • Motherly Advice

    Hello Honeybees,

    Growing up my mother always told me to buy myself something out of every paycheck. It didn’t have to be anything expensive or over the top but something. “A tube of lipstick or pair of panties” Her exact words not mine.

    Her thought process was that you deserve to reward yourself for all of the hard work you’ve put in for that paycheck. After paying your tithes and obligations you deserve something for you.

    For the most part I have listened to that advice. Unfortunately for me that reward usually comes in the form of food. Don’t judge!  I say unfortunately because I think that I would feel better if I rewarded myself with something more tangible. Say a new pair of shoes that are on sale or a makeup brush. You get the picture. I look at rewarding myself as a form of self care. It brings me joy and puts me in a good mood, thereby making me a happier person.

    I keep my paycheck rewards to under $30. I really try to stay around $20. I like the thrill of finding something that makes me happy but stays within budget. Now if I want a bigger reward I save up for it and sometimes the act of  saving can be my reward.

    No matter which way I decide to say thank you to myself for making it through I know that my mother is proud of me & smiling down from heaven saying, “She listened” Yes momma I listened and I just bought a pair of shoes on clearance at TJ Maxx for $22.

    As I was writing this post I got to thinking about some of the many lessons that my mother taught me and the advice that she gave me. So from time to time I’ll share those stories on the blog. They will live under the Growing Up Bee section. I hope you get as much out of them as I do.

    What’s your favorite piece of motherly advice?

    Happy Mother’s Day!!

    Beewisdom- A mother is a woman who shows you the light when you just see the dark. Grimaldos Robin

  • Self Love Day with Dr. Jamie

    Hello Honeybees,

    One of the ways that I practice self love is by surrounding myself with women who inspire me and lift me up. On Sunday I was fortunate enough to experience self love at its best. Dr. Jamie Hardy is the founder of The Fab Gathering, The Fab Gathering is a safe space to let down your guard and to receive support and tools to elevate your health and your life. This FAB gathering was all about self love.

    A little back story. I started following Dr. Jamie after meeting her at a blogger workshop. Shortly after our meeting she hosted a Fab Gathering at Char restaurant but I waited to late to get my ticket. That was not the case this time.

    Dr. Jamie, a pharmacist by trade, is on a mission to help women to be fit, FABulous, and fulfilled by giving their food, actions, and beliefs a makeover. She encourages women to live a healthy lifestyle without pills. Yes you read that right, a pharmacist trying to get us off the meds.

    The day began with a panel of beautiful black educated women dropping gems on everything from navigating storms to self image and of course saying NO.

    Melody Hubbard-Robinson dropped the first gem. During the introductions when most people tell who they are and what they do for a living, Melody said: “My job is….. but my purpose is….” I love that because we are more than our jobs. We all have a purpose and you are blessed if they are the same.

    Dr. Kristen Walker let us know that if self care becomes stressful then you aren’t doing it right.

    Kim Cox Esq. reminded us that you always have options. Don’t be afraid to take the chance to have joy.

    Dr. Audrey Townsel dropped on of the most important gems of all about dealing with other people. When pouring into other people make sure that they can pour back into you.

    I told you these ladies were fierce and I received every word of it.

    After the panel it was time to hydrate because Dr. Jamie knew that we were gonna need it. Twana Johnson got us up and moving. We did a “quick” 7 minutes of cardio to get our heart rate up. 30 minutes a day is all we need to get us started & to help us stay fit. Twana’s gem was “You can catch someones cold but you can’t catch good health” That my friends is on you.

    After getting our groove on we hit the mat, the yoga mat that is. My favorite yogi, Jackie O lead our practice. I am always in a calmer state of mind after yoga with Jackie.

    Dr. Jamie then talked to us about the important benefits of journaling and introduced us to her new soon to be released Self Love Kit. Head over to The Fab Gathering website for more details.

    As promised we had a healthy and delicious lunch. I was full but not stuffed. A perfect combination.

    This was the perfect way to spend part of my Sunday. I was so inspired by all of the women. I am so happy that I had the chance to experience Self Love Day with the Fab Gathering.

    Job well done Dr. Jamie.

     

    Beewisdom- If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. ~ Buddha

  • What Excites You?

    Hello Honeybees,

    What excites you most about life RIGHT NOW? TODAY!

    What makes you jump out of bed ready to start the day? What makes you smile when you think about it. Notice I didn’t say who. What sparks joy in your life?  Is it a new job, a new car or is it the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want? It might even be a new workout routine (gotta get that body right & tight)

    When I thought about this question in regards to my life the first thing that came to mind was my youngest son and his upcoming graduation and leaving for college. But then I thought, yes that does bring me joy & yes I am more than excited about it BUT that’s more about him than me. That’s more about being a damn good parent (pats self on back AND takes a bow) and my choice to be a parent.

    What is happening in MY life that excites ME? Well you are reading it. This blog excites me. Having my own little piece of the internet excites me. Creating content and writing excites me. The fact that you are even reading this excites me. Although I’m still nervous in front of the camera, all of the prep work, finding locations and shooting photos excites me. Learning from other influencers excites me. Watching my brand grow excites me. Shoot, just the thought of me saying hat I have a brand excites me. Planning a trip to a blogger conference excites me. Going to blogger events excites me. See where I’m going with this? Everything about this brand excites me. I sometimes dream about a post, a picture or branding ideas. Yep, it can be that deep. Yes, it is that deep.

    Being an entrepreneur is something that I never wanted to be because I understood how much or your blood, sweat and tears went into creating and maintaining a successful business. But as I work on my brand I understand more about how entrepreneurs feel when that dream becomes a reality. I’ll probably always have a regular job because the security of having that steady income is extremely important and comforting to me and yes, I know that no job is guaranteed but so far so good.

    You will never make me believe that finding and doing something that makes you happy doesn’t extend your life. I know that it at least makes your time here on earth more enjoyable. I want us all to be happy and one way to do that is to find what excites us and DO IT!!

     

    Beewisdom- Things that excite you are not random. They are connected yo your purpose. Follow them. – ThinkGrowProsper

  • Positively Strong

    Hello Honeybees,
    A few weeks ago I talked about my superpower of always finding the positive in any situation. I had a post that I was working on for last week that I never posted that talked about being positive on purpose. Well that post never made it past the draft stage for two reasons:
    1. It just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t get my words to flow right. The post felt forced and I never want to put something out there just because. The post, to me, needs to have a purpose.
    2. I was faced with a few negative situations and people in a very short amount of time. It’s like the universe was saying I dare you to find something positive in this mess.
    But guess what? I did find something positive. It’s in my hardest & most difficult times and situations that I discover and recharge my strength.
    Every time that I doubt my strength I have to prove to myself that…Yes Girl, you are stronger than you think. Yes girl, you can handle anything that comes your way. Yes Girl, he promised you that he wouldn’t give you more than you can bear. I really do sometimes hate that God knows how strong I am because he uses it to grow me and to hold the mirror up for me to see it too. Not gonna lie sometimes it’s painful but again in that pain I learn a lesson.
    So the next time that you are going through a painful or what you deem a negative situation look for the positive lesson in it and remember just how strong you are. We all go through it but it’s how you handle it that matters.
    Beewisdom- Sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed and rearranged to relocate us to the place we’re meant to be – Royce Morgan

  • Testing,Testing

    Hello Honeybees,

    As we enter Q2 of 2019 many of us have either given up on our new year’s resolutions or we are hanging tough. I didn’t make any particular resolutions but there are some things that I am making a priority. One of the biggest is my health. As you know the latter part of 2018 was tough for me health wise. I shared my story here. One thing that I learned during the time I spent in and out of the hospital is how important it is for us to take care of our bodies. In my case prevention was key.

    Some might think that because they are under 40 they don’t have to worry about their health until later. Well I am here to tell you that no matter your age…. Take care of your body..NOW!!! Here are some suggested health screenings that you should consider, of course age and family history can impact when you should have this test performed. Make the appointment ASAP.

    Always know your status (STI/AIDS/HIV) no matter your age

    Also, please don’t forget your mental health. Seek help if you need someone to talk to. If you think you might need some help, you probably do and that’s okay. We all need some help to navigate this crazy world.

    Preventive Test

    Blood Pressure– A diagnosis of hypertension, or high blood pressure, is made if your blood pressure is higher than 140/90. Because high blood pressure can lead to other complications, it should be checked every two years if it’s 120/80 or under. If you have to take meds to help control your blood pressure take them. I’m got my prescription refilled this week.

    Cholesterol– at least once every 4-6 years (or more frequently if you’re at risk for a heart attack).

    Blood Sugar– Get a fasting blood sugar test or other screening test for diabetes or pre diabetes at least once every 3 years and take control of diabetes EARLY.

    Skin Test– Check your skin for any unusual spots or moles. Be sure to ask your doctor to check your skin once a year, as well.

    Immunization – People over age 50 should get a flu shot every year. And don’t forget, even healthy people need a tetanus booster shot every 10 years, and one of those should contain the pertussis vaccine for whooping cough.

    Mammogram– women should have routine mammograms to help detect any early signs of breast cancer. Your doctor can tell you how often you should repeat the test. Early detection of breast cancer can save your breast and your life.

    Pap Smear/Pelvic Exam – Combining a Pap test with a human papillomavirus (HPV) test can safely extend the interval between cervical cancer screenings from three years to five years in many women between the ages of 30-65.

    Colonoscopy– can be done as a screening for colon cancer and other problems, usually starting at age 50. Go Get Tested

    Eye Exam– Be sure to get your eyes examined regularly — at least every 1 to 2 years until age 60 and then every year thereafter. Go more often if you have vision problems or risk factors for eye problems.

    Dental Check Up-You should visit the dentist at least twice year for an exam and cleaning. Your oral health can affect your physical health.

    Ok, I’m off my soap box now. I want to be around to watch my sons become fathers and play with my future grandchildren. I want to travel the world and just enjoy life but I need my best body and mental state to do it. I also want you to be around to enjoy life with me.

    Have you scheduled your yearly exams? If not what are you waiting on?

    Beewisdom- Health is a relationship between you and your body

  • Extending GRACE

    Hello Honeybees,

    Have you ever extended grace to someone? Has someone ever extended grace to you? What does it even mean to extend grace to someone?

    Having something that you don’t deserve is God’s grace to us. He extends his grace to us every day but do we return that grace to those around us? Do we show compassion for others?

    When I was going through a rough period in my life I had a manager at work that showed me GRACE. He didn’t have to because it truly wasn’t in his job description but he did. But because he did I was able to keep it together and not only survive but thrive. Fast forward 10 years later, I am in my former manager’s position. Someone needed me to extend that same grace to them. So what did I do, I extended it.  Just like me, this person was able to keep it together and survive. No rules were broken, but just knowing that someone in a position that has the power to make your life a little harder extends you grace takes a load off of your mind and spirit.

    Sometime it’s not always easy to extend grace because you KNOW that person doesn’t deserve it. But guess what, that’s the time when YOU listen to that still small voice and do it anyway. Grace is a gift and who doesn’t like to receive gifts? Have you ever received a gift just because? That’s grace. We never know what someone is going through. You showing them grace might be the thing that they need to keep pushing forward. So the next time someone pisses up off, extend a little grace.

    Be humble to others. You may be experiencing your mountain top moment but don’t forget that valley experience for it shall surely come again. Extend a hand to help those around you. Extend a hand to help lift someone else. You never know when that very hand will reach back to help you.

    While you are extending GRACE to others remember to extend some grace to yourself. Free yourself from always having it together, from always trying to be perfect. We are not perfect people.  When you fail at something, give yourself some grace. The world did not end because you failed. Give yourself the freedom to learn from the failure and to keep it moving. If you can’t forgive YOU how can you forgive others?

    I encourage you extend grace to someone, especially to you.

     

    Beewisdom- I give grace because I so desperately need it. – Lysa Terkeurst

  • My Sacrifice

    Hello Honeybees,

    The party is over, Madri Gras (Fat Tuesday) is done.

    Today, Ash Wednesday, marks the start of the Lenten season where we begin the process of sacrifice for 40 days. I grew up in the Catholic Church and attended Catholic school until college, so the Lenten season has always held a special place in my spiritual journey.

    Most of the time during Lent I focused on sacrificing something edible. As a kid I would give up candy or sweets which wasn’t a sacrifice because I didn’t really eat candy (that habit started later in life). As I got older I would switch to something that was a little harder like pork or soft drinks. These two things wouldn’t be a sacrifice today. Maturity happens!

    At some point I stopped “giving up” things for Lent and I started adding things. I started adding more prayer time in those 40 days, I started making a very conscious effort to be more giving, more loving and to be a better person.

    They say it takes 21 days to form a habit. The first year that I added these things during Lent they did become habits. I still try to find more ways to add to my prayer time. I still make a conscious effort to be more giving and to be a better person.

    For the 2019 Lenten season I’m going to add and subtract for these 40 days. I’m going to sacrifice a food, bread. Pray my strength.  I’m going to re read two books, Purpose Driven Life & When God Winks. Both books make me feel like I’m strengthen my spiritual relationship with God.

    I pray that at the end of these 40 days I come out a healthier and more purposeful woman.

    What are you sacrificing or adding during this Lenten season?

    Beewisdom- “Prayer does not change the purpose of God. But prayer does change the action of God.” — Chuck Smith

  • I’m So Inspired

    Hello Honeybees,

    Inspire was one of my words for 2019 and when I tell you that these first two months of the year have truly been inspiring…believe me they have. And not in the way that you might think. My initial thought for the word inspire was for ME to inspire others. There have been numerous occasions where that has happened. It hasn’t all been big moments but it’s the little moments that have truly opened my eyes and heart. It’s been everything from encouraging someone to take a leap of faith to sending a thinking about you text.

    But the biggest surprise to me has been how other people are inspiring me. When someone takes the time to reach out to me for help that inspires me. It means that I’m on the right track. It means that I have something of value to add to their life and that they trust me. When I see someone succeeding at something it inspires me to keep pushing. Watching people find happiness or fall in love or watching people mend a broken relationship. Their success and happiness means we get to celebrate and who doesn’t like a celebration.

    If being inspired and inspiring others keeps up this pace, 2019 is on track to be one of the best and happiest years of my life.

    Who are you inspiring? Who is inspiring you?

    Beewisdom- Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs.

  • Greatest Love Of All

    Hello Honeybees,

    The month of February is usually focused on love and most of us automatically think of love in a romantic sense. Which is only natural but there is one love that must be achieved before any other kind of love can reach its full potential.

    That love is SELF LOVE.

     

    Loving yourself sounds like a no brainer but for some people it is not an easy task. If you have never been encouraged to love yourself or if you’ve never had people show you love just because you exist or because you are important to them, then it’s hard to understand self-love.

    Loving yourself means not accepting less than you deserve in any situation or relationship. It means saying no to things and people that don’t have your best interest at heart.

    Loving yourself first and foremost is the ultimate meaning of self-love. Putting yourself first is not being selfish it’s one of the highest forms of self-love.

    Here are a few steps to help you practice a little or hopefully a lot of self-love:

    Focus on being someone who loves! When you give love or show love it comes back to you. You attract what you put out.

    Act on what you need rather than what you want! Turn away from things that get you in trouble or keep you stuck in the past. That includes people & things. Make sure your needs are met before your wants.

    Practice good self-care! Take care of your temple. When you put in the work you feel better about you.

    Challenge negative thoughts about yourself! – You are not perfect but guess what, no one is. Try not to entertain or internalize negative thoughts. Easier said than done. When negative thoughts come, push them out with something positive.

    Set boundaries & Protect yourself! – This includes people and activities. But also make sure you are bringing the right people into your life.

    Forgive yourself! – Don’t carry the guilt of the past. You learned the lesson, take heed and move on Martha, move on!

    Live intentionally! – Live life with purpose and feel good about that purpose.

    I hope that we all practice self-love EVERYDAY! How do you practice self-love?

     

    Beewisdom- “Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown

  • My Favorite Valentine’s Day Memory

    Hello Honeybees,

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

    Valentine’s Day can hold some happy memories and for some people some not so good memories. For me I’m in the middle. I have experienced both the good and the not so good. I can take all the dark chocolate that you can give me, or a cupcake or a single flower. But I don’t need all the pomp and circumstance. Don’t get me wrong I truly believe in love and I love, love. I am always happy to see people in love. Seeing people in love makes my heart happy. I’m sure there will be plenty of proposals taking place today and plenty of babies born in November.

    Some people love the big splash on Vday, you know the one where there are enough balloons to float away, or enough flowers to open a flower shop or the stuffed animal that’s bigger than a small child. When I was younger I enjoyed the love day splash but as I matured I started to love the smaller more intimate gestures.

    My favorite valentine’s day memory involved only two people. Me & Him. Because he knew that I wasn’t big on big displays he prepared an intimate candle light dinner for two. All I had to do was dress up and show up. No restaurant, no waiting, no crowds. He did all the work, prepared all the food, set the table, and had my favorite flower. This was my first candle light dinner experience. It was filled with love, authenticity and appreciation. The fact that someone took the time to make me happy was as special as it gets. Even though the relationship didn’t last, I will always have this memory of what a real, to me, valentine’s day looks and feels like.

    I don’t think that Valentine’s day should make or break the relationship, it should only enhance the relationship. It should be one of the many special days that you celebrate the love that you share in a special way.

    I hope that today you create some beautiful memories of love.   What’s your favorite Valentine’s memory?

     

    Beewisdom- Where there is love, there is life

  • My City Tasting Tour

    Hello Honeybees,

    If you ask anyone that has lived in Memphis for a while who has the best barbecue you will probably get the answer: my backyard or my uncle, brother, daddy or cousin etc. There are a lot, I mean a lot of folks in Memphis that can werk a barbecue grill. It’s a Memphis thing mane!

    But if for some reason you are like me, not a big barbecue fan but you love good food & Memphis then I have a treat for your palate. It’s called City Tasting Tours. This tour was on my 2019 bucket list and now I can scratch it off.

    Started almost 3 years ago, Cristina McCarter has definitely earned her title of culinary guide. She takes you on a guided tour of the South Main Arts District while sampling some of the best LOCAL food that Memphis has to offer.

    Our first stop was Pontotoc Lounge. I can’t tell you the number of times that I have driven past this restaurant & never knew it existed. Our first dish was the pot roast. This is not what I expected from this establishment but man oh man was it delicious. Just like grandma use to make.  You can add alcohol to your tour, which gets you an alcoholic beverage at every stop. Bottoms up!

    As we walk to our next stop, Cristina gives us some local history. Tunnels, ghost & brothels oh my!! And being that this is the arts district there is art all around you. Memphis has it all.

    Next up is the  409 S. Main Market Food Hall. This building houses several eateries, a coffee shop and a bar. I can say that I have been to this building but only for events on the 3rd floor, but never just to eat. I have been missing out. We enjoyed tacos from Venga and a turkey sandwich from City Block Salumeria. Y’all so darn good. The bacon on the turkey sandwich was thick and crispy and the bun was so soft. At this point I’m starting to feel a little full but we have 2 more stops to make.

     

    As we are walking down South Main St. we pass several local shops that I have heard about but never knew where to find them. We saw all of the new construction that is taking place, hotels, movie theater and yes another restaurant and of course the history that comes with the National Civil Rights Museum. We stop at The Vault, which use to be a, you guessed it….a bank. There we have a trio of fried catfish with a dill tartar sauce, a beet salad with goat cheese & candied pecans and a crab cake with remoulade sauce. My taste buds where in heaven I tell ya. But we STILL had one more stop.

    You can’t have all of this food without dessert. It’s Memphis mane! So of course we went to Makedas for Lemon Icebox pie made with Makedas famous butter cookies. OH..EM…GEE!! This pie was so good. Not to tart but with just the right amount of sweetness. I really, really wanted to purchase a whole pie but I bought some cookies for my sons. They have a variety of other cookie flavors. I think the iced oatmeal is my favorite, or maybe the chocolate pecan. Either way no one in my house was disappointed.

    After the tour I had a chance to sit with Cristina to get a little more background. Cristina wanted to start the tours years ago after having participated in ones in other cities but the restaurant options were just not available. But as downtown & especially South Main began to grow thankfully she acted on her vision and City Tasting Tours was born. Ironically she gets more locals than tourists, which is not a bad thing because this local learned so much about her city & found new places to enjoy on the regular.

    Be on the lookout for the Craft Food & Wine Festival at The Columns June 23rd hosted by Cristina. Early bird tickets are on sale here. I can’t wait to support her and her vision and eat. Also she has a Soul Food tour coming and you know you don’t want to miss that.

    Thank you Erica for the invite and thank you Cristina for a wonderful experience and for teaching me about my city. Head over the City Tasting Tours website to book your tour NOW!

     

    Beewisdom- Good Food, Good Mood

  • Be. Here. Now.

    Hello Honeybees,

    I live what I think is an active social media life. I document places, life and events to share with you all on the interweb. But sometimes I like to just enjoy the moment. Sometimes I don’t want to share the person or the experience. Sometimes I just want to be in that moment.

    I heard the phrase “Be. Here. Now.” during a staff training. We talked about actually listening & being there for teammates. But also how to apply it to our personal lives. If you have teenagers then you already know that communicating with them can sometimes be a struggle, especially if they are boys.

    Mom: how was your day
    Son: ok
    Mom: everything going ok with you
    Son: yes
    Mom: do anything interesting today
    Son: no

    I have heard that girls are different.

    Trying to parent more than one child has been very interesting. Two humans with the same DNA, who grew up together in the same environment but are so totally different. Because their personalities are so different I have to engage them differently. I have to Be Here Now in different ways.

    The morning of the training I asked my son to take his clothes out of the dryer before he left for school. I could tell by his reaction that something was off but I didn’t stop to see what it was because I was so focused on the clothes in the dryer & getting out the door on time. That evening he started talking about something that happened at school & I immediately stopped was I doing to Be Here Now for him. No phone, no laptop, no distractions. What I learned from that talk was when I asked him about the clothes he felt that I was yelling & angry at 6:18 am. I didn’t feel like I was yelling or angry but he did. So we both started the day on a sour note.  All of this could have been avoided if I had just been present in the moment and acknowledged his reaction to the conversation.

    I am committed to Be Here Now for my sons because I won’t have them with me always. I want to cherish the time that we have before my nest is empty. I am committed to Be Here Now for my friends because our friendships are important to me. Having the much needed girl gatherings. Catching up over drinks. Stopping to actually have that phone conversation.  Most importantly I am committed to Be Here Now for ME. Saying NO and meaning it. When my body tells me to slow down, I listen and will slow down. Why? Because I am worth it and you can’t pour from an empty cup.

     

    Beewisdom- Wherever you are, be all there

  • Then Add Tax

    Hello Honeybees,

    Ever see a quote on the interweb that just speaks to your soul?  Well that happened to me.

    This quote struck something deep inside of me & at the time I wasn’t really sure why. We have all seen this quote or something like it plenty of times. But for some reason on this day it was like a punch to the gut and I watched it play out in my life not to long afterwards.

    We spend a lot of time with our self worth being tied up in what we see on social media, where we work and who we hang out with. We place a lot of undo stress on ourselves because we compare ourselves to others. Don’t let your self worth be tied to someone else.

    We get in relationships hoping that the other person will be able to “fix us” or complete us but they can’t.

    Only you can “fix” you.

    We get upset when the people who we thought should support us don’t. We’re ready to throw in the towel. But we must keep pushing with or without their support.

    I posted a picture where I was in a room full of women that I admire & look up to. I questioned why I was in that room. Yall imposter syndrome is real but it didn’t last long. Just as quickly as those thoughts came, they went. Why? Because I realized that I deserved to be there. I questioned my own self worth. Someone thought enough of me to invite me. They saw my value and in the end so did I.

    People can and will doubt you. They will question your value. That’s their problem.

    YOU not realizing your value that’s YOUR problem.

    Seek out ways to understand your value.

    Don’t settle for less than you deserve.

    Beewisdom- know your worth and then add tax

  • Consistently Inspired

    Hello Honeybees,
    Happy New Year!!
    Every January I select a word here that helps me to set the expectation for the new year. 2018’s word was FLOURISH. And in some aspects of my life I did just that. I became more confident & comfortable in my skin. I began to appreciate ME more. I also grew my social media presence being authentically me. My faith walk also flourished in 2018. I spent more time studying the word and actually being present in church.
    This year I decided on two words. My words for 2019 are INSPIRE & CONSISTENT.
    I want to inspire others in whatever way possible. I want my life to be an inspiration. I want everything that I do to have a positive affect on those around me. Not that my life is perfect because it’s far from it but we can all be an inspiration to others.
    Some ways that I hope to inspire:
    • I want to show others that being 50 plus is not a time for slowing down but a time to ramp up life. It’s a time to experience what I call ageless living.
    • For me it’s time for more life experiences and less being so cautious.
    • I want my relationship with my almost adult children to start growing into a very slow & steady friendship. Slow & steady because I’m still momma & I’m not your little friend.
    Consistent is the word for my creative & spiritual life. I’ve been blogging for a while but I’ve not been truly consistent. I want to change that in 2019. In order to truly grow my brand I have to be consistent in creating the best content possible.
    As for my spiritual walk, I want to read the Bible in a year & complete the Purpose Driven Life 30 day journal. I want to be more consistent in attending church. That means going even when I have every “real” excuse in the book. I can’t expect God to show up for me when I don’t show up for him.
    So Honeybees, there you have it. Inspire & Consistent! Words to live by for 2019. I ask you to hold me accountable. When you see me slacking PLEASE drop me a text,email or dm to help me get back on track.
    Here’s to a happy & prosperous 2019
    Top: Target, Pants: Banana Republic (thrifted), Vest: Thrifted, Shoes: Bandolino (TJmaxx), Necklace: Target, Purse: Thrifted
    Beewisdom- Be not afraid of growing slowly, be only afraid of standing still- Chinese Proverb

  • Sh*t Happens

    Hello Honeybees,

    If you follow me on Facebook or Insta, I’m judging you if you aren’t, you know that I spent a few days in the hospital. It caught some by surprise but my tribe knew that it was coming.

    So here is the short version. Longer version coming later. I had a colonoscopy in April & the doctors found a polyp that was too big for them to remove at that time. So after several doctor visits, test & second opinions I was scheduled for surgery to remove the polyp.

    To say that this whole process has changed my life is an understatement. Simple things that we take for granted, like being able to go to the bathroom & handle all of our business, won’t be so simple for me. For the next two months I have to wear a colostomy bag. I no longer control when I poop! In all of my 51 years it NEVER entered my mind that I wouldn’t be able to control my sh*t.  That’s for old people, I’m to young for this. But here I am. I’m blessed that this is only for 2 months some people live with a colostomy bag for survival.

    I’m encouraging you. I’m pleading with you. I’m screaming from the top of my lungs….if you are 50 plus… schedule your colonoscopy. Yes the prep process is a bit much but that 24 hour cleanse can save your life. I did not have ANY issues or symptoms that something was growing in my body. I was simply doing my preventative screenings.

    As you read this I’m waiting on the pathology report to tell me if the polyp that they removed was cancerous or not. This week I’ll face either a new battle or I’ll finish out this process and be done until my next colonoscopy. Either way I’m glad that I will have answers. Either way I will have the chance to determine my next move. Either way I’m still here. I have a lot of life left to live.

    Dress: Target, Booties: Marshalls, Scarf: Limited Express (1985)

     

    For more animal print inspiration visit my fellow bloggers: Bianca: www.curvaceouslybee.com,  Komal: www.komalmeansdelicate.com Desiree: www.mochadivas.com ,Erica: www.ericadallas.com/blog , Melissa: https://reverberatingdaily.com/  

     

    Beewisdom- Take care of your body it’s the only place you have to live

  • First Impressions Matter

    Hello Honeybees,

    3 seconds, yep 3 seconds is all you get to make a first impression. In 3 seconds the other person forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, body language, your demeanor, your mannerisms, and how you are dressed. Admit it, when you meet a person what’s the first thing that you notice? It’s probably what they are wearing. We are all guilty. We can’t always control what the others think but we can put our best foot forward.

    Depending on the setting this first impression can be the difference between getting the job or not getting the job. The first impression could mean making that connection that could help elevate you to the next level.

    I know we can’t ALWAYS be on 10 ALL the time but when we know that we are walking into certain situations we know that we should bring our A game.

    This week my blogger friends and I are talking statement jackets as we transition from summer to fall. Bianca, www.curvaceouslybee.com ,  Komal, www.komalmeansdelicate.com ,Desiree, www.mochadivas.com  Melissa, https://reverberatingdaily.com/  Michelle, www.elainemichelle.com 

    Jacket: gifted to me over 7 years ago, Top: Ann Taylor, Pants: Thrifted, Shoes: TJ Maxx, Bee Pin: Gifted

     

    I didn’t get a picture of it but the top under this jacket is sleeveless. So on the way to my meeting I won’t faint in this Memphis heat, but once I get there I can put on my jacket for a more polished look.

    The yellow of the jacket screams Summer but the lightweight quilted texture feels “Fallish”. I added a bee pin in an unexpected place for a little whimsy & to stay on brand.

    What do you think of my statement jacket? Too much or just enough? Will I make a positive first impression?

    Let me know what you think!

     

    Beewisdom- First impressions are the most lasting- English Proverb